Initially it was more difficult than I anticipated to stick with my intent to do dessert first. The morning presented the challenge of nonworking phones, an unexpected customer visit, and an irate phone call from another customer at a university who believed she had been shorted on an order. While the visiting customer tried to look at his website on our screen, the printer jammed upon printing his ads causing the computer to freeze. The thought of anything pleasant seemed beyond my grasp. It was going to take some resolve to follow my plan.
Perhaps I should mention that all of this followed an hour of pulling up carpet and moving furniture in my bedroom so that the 2nd full bathroom in my 1910 house can be demolished due to the same water damage tha caused us to demolish the bathroom below two weeks ago. And did I mention that this is the only other full bathroom in the house? In addition, on the way to the office I had fielded a call from an unemployed friend who is feeling angry and desperate.
When I finally managed to turn my mind back to my intention to savor the small pleasant moments of each day, I felt angry, unsettled, and a bit overwhelmed. Nonetheless, I accepted my visiting customer’s invitation to an early lunch. I told him how I felt. I savored a hamburger steak with crispy edges topped with grilled onions. I lingered and enjoyed catching up with his family stories even though I had not yet researched the order shortage for my other customer. I began to feel a tiny bit more relaxed.
Back at the office, I researched the problem and could document that we had delivered the full order and that it had been signed for by the university. Even with that, I recognized that they believed there was a problem so I had to deal with them as if there were a problem. Was there some morsel of pleasure I could savor first?
I turned my attention to some invoicing that needed to go out. This felt good to me because it means cash flow sooner rather than later and is a way of taking care of my finances. Then I made the phone call. Once that was done, I went to the dry cleaners and the bank. Along the route, I noticed a huge weeping willow tree blowing in the breeze. I took a moment to watch the scintillating leaves.
By the time I returned, I was feeling peaceful and calm. Then I got the phone call that someone at the university had misplaced a box of my customer’s order. Ahhhh, more relaxation that problem is gone. Perhaps even the brief moments of pleasure I managed to lean into were having an effect?
Late afternoon presented a minor bump in the road, but by evening I was feeling energized by positive energy and happy as I began a book I’ve been looking forward to at bedtime. In the moment it’s hard to analyze anything, but this morning (the morning of Day 3), I awoke feeling joyous with an excitement toward embracing whatever the day may bring.
Could it be that the small shift in focus that I managed yesterday was a powerful catalyst for how I’m feeling today? Perhaps. Check in tomorrow to find out.
This week I am going to try something new that I’m calling, Dessert First. I don’t mean that I’m going to literally eat dessert first. Okay, maybe I will once or twice since I’ll be thinking about it, but that’s beside the point. Dessert First is a week dedicated to savoring the rich, sweet moments of every day BEFORE I rush off to fill an obligation, achieve a goal, or take care of something for someone else.
We all know dessert is best when it’s savored rather than hastily gulped. When I roll a bite of chocolate around on my tongue letting it slowly melt, I taste all the subtle layers of sweet and bitter. At the same time, I experience a pleasing texture. Lingering over dessert with a cup of coffee, I often feel a sense of pleasure, exhilaration, or relaxation.
So why not incorporate those feelings into every day? Instead of glancing at the sunset sideways through the car window, I’ll sit on the back deck and take note of the depth of the clouds and the reflection of the light. When a client compliments my work, I will sit still, say thank you, and absorb the good feeling that brings. When my son calls and wants me to stop everything to run an errand for him, I will not do so until I reach a natural break in my schedule and I will not rush through the day’s pleasures in order to accommodate him.
What will happen? How will this experiment affect my work, my sense of well-being, and my family? Will it help me thrive at a different level? We’ll see. Check back here and I will give you the results each day!
If you haven’t taken the time to review current TSA regulations, you may not realize that you can carry food with you on an airplane. Not only can you carry it, it can be in opaque containers larger than 3.5 ounces.
I have carried nuts, fruit, tuna, muffins and boiled eggs. I place the loose items in Tupperware® containers. I purchase tuna in a pouch. I peel the boiled eggs and place them with a sprinkle of salt and pepper in a reused sour cream container.
For ease at the X-ray machine, I put all the containers in a gallon zip top bag that I remove from my carryon and place in the plastic tub along with my shoes. I have never been detained, searched, or asked for explanation because of the food.
Gluten-Free Carryon Food
Carrying gluten-free snacks has several benefits. Perhaps the most important is that having a gluten-free item within reach keeps me from being tempted to grab the first thing I see when my plane lands late, I am starving, and I have to scramble to make my connection. Another benefit is that I don’t have to pay the inflated prices charged by many airport vendors. I can also enjoy a snack on the aircraft along with the other passengers even when the airline doesn’t offer an acceptable option.
My greatest concern isn’t always whether I will be able to find a gluten-free snack or meal. Because I am hypoglycemic, my greatest concern is often whether I will be able to find a gluten-free snack or meal before I go too long without food. Having the option of carryon food eases this concern so I can feel good about planning as much travel as much as my budget and schedule will allow.
If you have been hesitant to plan a trip involving airline travel, there’s no need to limit yourself. Get those bags packed and have a great trip!
It’s Saturday afternoon and this weekend I have no water at my house. My pipes developed a leak that was running even with the faucets off. Already, I know I’ll have to replace the entire ceiling of my downstairs bathroom and part of the office ceiling. There may be more. Rather than pay a plumber’s emergency rate, I decided to dry out the environment with a dehumidifier over the weekend and have the plumber come next week. The earliest appointment I could get is late Tuesday afternoon.
On Thursday, I had all sorts of goals for this weekend punctuated by a wedding shower I’m attending on Sunday afternoon. My running list included proofreading some recipes, working on the website, designing some new packaging for an upcoming product, and testing some recipes. I was focused on what I felt I needed to accomplish.
I also felt an edge of foreboding and dread knowing that I wasn’t exactly feeling up to tackling such an extensive list right then so I’d have to drag myself kicking and screaming (internally so as not to scare the neighbors) toward those goals. Bummer, but I’m in this spot more than I’d like to admit and I know I can push myself and accomplish any goal I set. So, I jerked my bootstraps a bit tighter and set forth.
But there was a problem. Really, problemS. Trickle, gush, slosh – everything changed! My list no longer mattered because there were immediate practical needs that superceded my well-laid plans.
Before the leak, this was a periwinkle blue ceiling.
My first thoughts in the moment were to mobilize and start a new plan. My mind began to churn: I’ve had some recent unexpected expenses. How can I avoid going to a hotel? I can shower at the office, except I have no clean towels. I have a key to my neighbor’s house while she’s gone, so I can borrow some water for tooth brushing and toilet flushing. Of course, as soon as I have that thought, I get a text telling me to give the key to the dog sitter.
Finally, I stop pushing forward. I shift my focus. Breathe. Take a moment. Think about what’s really important. Oddly, I notice that the moment I shift, I feel more grateful than annoyed. Thank goodness I know how bad the leak is before I head off to work out of town for the day. I even begin to smile as I recognize how quickly the importance of my weekend goals pale in comparison to figuring out how to manage the basic tasks of life (Where will I shower? How can I brush my teeth? How much water will I have to pour down the toilet for it to flush? Do I have a clean dress for the wedding shower?). I notice I feel relieved by the chance to ditch my original list and start over.
Thank goodness for the occasional curve ball life throws us! When a sudden change gets our attention, and we stop planning the next moment and lean into this one, we may realize that our brains are headed down a totally different path than our hearts.
Okay, trickle, gush, slosh, I’m paying attention. How can I best take care of myself through a weekend without water and still not break the bank? What are my intentions and priorities? How will I feel if I don’t accomplish a single item on my original list? Will I be able to sit still knowing a renovation is imminent? Can I avoid revving back up and pushing myself?
Through the generosity of friends, I have the key to an apartment across town where I can shower and do laundry. I hauled some water for today, so I’ve been able to make coffee, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and water the plants. I’ve even gotten the toilet flushing figured out, although it took more water pouring than I remembered to make it work.
The funny thing is, I keep feeling like everything is broken and I can’t do anything – watch TV, use the microwave, cook on the stove, dry clothes in the dryer, sweep the floor, wash the dishes. That’s silly. The gas and electricity work. There’s no reason at all to stay at Heather’s to dry the clothes. I can bring them home wet and use my dryer. I can heat leftovers in the microwave, and if I heat some water on the stove, I can wash the dishes by hand. Admittedly, it makes more sense to use paper plates, but I’m fascinated by the fact that I feel limited in other areas when only one thing has changed.
Yes, it’s one thing that affects many everyday tasks, but it’s only one thing. I feel like it’s EVERYTHING. I can’t seem to find a comfortable rhythm for the day. What felt like plenty of water yesterday seems like way too little today, although in reality I still have an adequate supply. Somewhere down there, I think I feel scared. Of what? I don’t know. Just uneasy like if one thing shifted something else could too.
I tell you this because I recognize that this may be how some of you feel when you find out you will be healthier without gluten. One thing has changed, but it feels like EVERYTHING. And that feels scary.
As I explore how to best take care of myself on this off-kilter, scary day, perhaps you’ll find some inspiration for moving through your fear.
First, I’ll take inventory. Am I missing anything I need to eat, sleep, bathe, dress, work, or socialize comfortably? At this moment, I have enough water to drink and make coffee tomorrow plus some for tooth brushing, etc. If I should need more, I have retrieved the keys to my neighbor’s house or I can go to the office. There’s no real chance of running out. I have precooked food on hand. I have paper plates. I have washed the dress I want to wear to the wedding shower. I have purchased the cards and the gifts for the shower. I have books, TV, and internet for entertainment, or I can go for a walk. If I want to shower later, it’s a short drive to the apartment. I have everything I need.
Next, I will take the time to notice that I feel grateful for how little effort it has taken to procure what I need. I will sit with that gratitude for a moment. I may even get out a piece of paper and make a very specific and detailed list of things for which I feel grateful.
If I feel too restless to be still, or like I’m speeding up into a frenzy, I will plant my feet firmly on the ground and look around. I may grab a pillow and hold it while I do this. I will look at the colors or objects around me focusing on the tiniest details. Once I can be still, I will explore where in my body I feel the fear that is causing me to feel restless. When I feel the fear localize, I will allow myself to feel it for as long as I can at this moment. I know that I can trust my body to support me and I know that the longer I can sit with this fear, the less likely it is to be triggered by a similar event in the future. I will exercise the courage to face my fear, but I will choose patience and kindness toward myself. I will stop when I have reached my limit. Then, if I need personal contact, I will call a friend. If I need distraction, I will watch a comedy. I will acknowledge how proud I am of myself for leaning into fear rather than running from it. If this process lasts for hours or for days, I will be patient with myself and know that eventually it will end. There is no reason to panic.
If I pay attention, I will be presented with an opportunity to shift my point of view and move toward feeling good. At that moment, if I choose to let go of fear, anticipation and excitement will replace it and I will be prepared to embrace joy. Momentary happiness requires no preparation, but joy requires us to embrace our fear and let it go. I know this because sometimes I manage to do just that. I intend to practice this more often. This weekend is the perfect opportunity for me.
I am grateful for my increasing courage. Are you prepared to join me?
