Trust can be a forgotten element in making wise health decisions. It is not unusual to spend a portion of each day wishing we had made a healthier choice or two. Sometimes it’s because we’ve eaten 2 pieces of cake. Sometimes it’s because we skipped a workout. Occasionally, it’s because of our experience of the healthcare system.
Healthcare professionals often fail to create opportunities to listen and build trust. There are many reasons for this. One is that they may work for an institution that sets a maximum time goal for patient visits. One common time goal is 10 minutes. That might be sufficient for a follow-up after a treatment plan is chosen, but it’s not much time for an initial visit or a visit in which options will be presented.
Ten minutes is not much time to answer questions or establish a trusting relationship. And the fact that we meet many of these professionals for the first time when we’re partially clothed doesn’t encourage trust either. The lopsidedness of the doctor/patient relationship as it’s currently experienced in the US can even undermine our trust in ourselves and our experience.
Then there are the careless errors: Being told my MRI was normal for someone with migraines after I was scanned because my fingers were numb. I’d never had a migraine.
The deliberate deceptions: The doctor prescribing a drug to treat a condition because of what he said were abnormal test numbers. The numbers falling in the middle of normal range, “exactly where we want them,” when I asked the nurse to read me the actual numbers.
The misogynistic assumptions: “If you didn’t have an intelligent boyfriend sitting here, I’d tell you it’s all in your head.”
And those are just some of my experiences.
How are we supposed to trust our perceptions when a highly trained professional tells us it’s all in our heads. Mind you, I’m not saying that psychological symptoms and somatic experience can’t go hand in hand, but at the visit mentioned above, I was recovering from recurring pneumonia and asking for a diagnostic referral to determine the underlying cause.
Taken as a whole, the experience of healthcare often isn’t all that healthy. That is unfortunate. And it makes it more difficult to decipher and determine the best course of action to take in our everyday lives.
Good daily health practices and good healthcare can both begin with the same question, “What matters to you?” Determining your priorities and what you want your life to look like is a great way to guide your decisions and actions.
And your priorities can be whatever you want them to be. There’s no right or wrong. You are in the driver’s seat. You can allow yourself grace and the flexibility to change priorities as you grow or when something doesn’t feel right.
You can learn to trust yourself. That may not mean trusting your instincts as much as trusting yourself to gather credible information and learn, trusting yourself to listen to the signals your body gives you, and trusting yourself to face problems head-on.
When you are clear on the things that matter to you most, you’ll be better able to trust your decisions and measure whether the advice of others is in line with your priorities. This can guide you to better health decisions.
Looking back at the horrific events of the past week reminds me that our actions always reflect our priorities – even what we eat reflects our priorities. No matter what we tell the world, what we do sometimes belies our words. Not only can this sometimes confuse those around us, it can hinder us from reaching our goals. No change can come until we have the courage to stare the facts in the face. 
If your stated priority is to avoid sugar and you continue to eat bread, breakfast cereal, frozen pizza, muffins, ketchup, barbecue potato chips and Ranch dressing, you are choosing foods that contain sugar. Once you recognize this you can decide to: 1)Eliminate these foods and all others that contain sugar, 2)Limit sugar by not eating dessert or “sweets”, but stop trying to avoid it 3)Eat as much sugar as you want. 
If your stated priority is to feed your children real, unprocessed food, but you grab the Lunchables®, packaged mac & cheese, or fruit roll-ups more often than the broccoli, black beans, sugar snap peas, carrots, cauliflower, squash, green beans, and asparagus then perhaps it’s just a goal and not a priority or maybe you believe education, sports, or dance are more essential building blocks for a good life and have prioritized those over real unprocessed food. If so, that’s okay and only your stated priority needs to change.