Tag: plan

Patience, Perseverance, Progress

SOME THINGS TAKE TIME and require patience, perseverance and adherence to process before progress is made. Yes, I’m probably yelling. Expectations of immediate results for any and everything have reached the absurd. This is detrimental to progress in many areas.

I understand that words have lost much of their meaning. Literally is used to mean things that aren’t literal. Makeupless can mean wearing bright red lipstick. It can be effortful and difficult to sift, sort, and absorb enough information to get a plan together. Why not opt for whatever proposed solution promises immediate results?

Taking the easy sounding option is a choice that’s frequently made and sometimes works for the long-term. But more often, the fast, easy, effortless solution means having to start over again and again when it turns out not to be the panacea we’d hoped.

If we invest too much in the solution of the moment, we may not be able to let it go, even when it’s not working or leaves us with painful side effects. This is how many of us end up trudging down a path that does not benefit us.

caravan of camels and people walking across sand

Whether we’re setting work goals, life goals, or health goals, a more successful approach is to develop or summon the patience required to pursue a well-researched, well-developed, long-term plan and the perseverance to stick to it. We still may not find success, but we’ll stand a better chance of making lasting progress. We’ll also have the opportunity to benefit from the process.

Every step we take, every failure we endure, every push past fear offers us a chance to learn, ground, and breathe into new levels of understanding and confidence. When success comes without difficulty, it has less significance.

And removing difficulty doesn’t prepare us for hard times that will ultimately appear. We need adversity to develop resilience and build courage.

Taking focus off the destination and placing it on the process will get you through a lot of tough things. It may also be more productive than rushing. I have seen this over and over in my life.

Process is somewhat like working a jigsaw puzzle. Placement reveals itself slowly with each piece building on the last until the whole picture takes shape. Beginning with edge pieces creates both limiters and structure. And looking at a difficult puzzle too long in one sitting can blind you to the next move. Slow, methodical effort with breaks may bring a faster solution than rushing.

Patience doesn’t mean no action or movement forward. Perseverance doesn’t take extra-human fortitude. Progress is incremental and sometimes looks like a zigzag line with dips as well as peaks.

The bottom line is that it’s impossible to avoid the trying seasons of life. We all experience them and sometimes there’s no magic pill, quick solution, or hero to rescue us. We simply have to strap in, be patient, take one step at a time, and persevere.

Moving Forward

In 2015, my New Year’s Post was about moving forward. I still agree with everything in that post. But this particular moment in history leaves me feeling less optimistic about staying optimistic. It’s not that there’s nothing to celebrate or enjoy. And it’s not for a lack of gratitude that many things have not been as bad as they could have been.

But so many things have been teetering on edge for several years and they don’t seem to be changing or improving. Committees and boards I served on prior to 2020 have evolved from diverse, balanced groups with productive conversations to something with which I no longer feel aligned. I miss the comradery and the feeling we were making a positive difference. Gunfire in my neighborhood has increased. It was already bad. Now it’s worse.  Infant mortality has increased in my state. We now have one of the highest rates in the nation. Public education here faces new threats because of underfunded, short-sighted legislation. My state’s supreme court blatantly ignored our constitution in a recent case regarding emergency clause voting procedure.

There have been moves that threatened to destroy a national river I’ve floated all my life, and a legislative session that tried to severely limit the FOIA that allows the citizens to know what our government is up to.

Librarians are being removed and/or threatened with jail for simply shelving books a few find objectionable and book banners are being appointed to library boards.

NONE of these things make for an improved quality of life for me, my friends, neighbors, children, or grandchildren. NONE of these reflect the family values I learned from conservative, church-going parents in the South.

Every week brings another round of news that makes my head want to explode because it exhibits yet again how many nearby have no respect for the law, no respect for common sense, no respect for women, no respect for patients, no respect for anyone who doesn’t look like them, and no respect for ideas that may diverge from a very narrow path. I want to move forward optimistically, but the car keeps running over my foot.

So now I guess it’s time to give myself a pep talk…Maybe in addition to Dry January, we need Contemplative January when we stop filling time our schedules to avoid feeling the weight of what we’re doing to ourselves. We cannot make things better until we are willing to:

See a problem.

We sometimes believe that seeing a problem IS a problem. Denial may make things seem better on the surface, but it’s really a way to keep a person or organization stuck.

State the problem.

Once you see a problem, it may be a process to get the information to those who can facilitate change. That doesn’t mean stating the problem IS the problem although it may feel that way. I watched a person be attacked as being negative in a hospital advisory council meeting when they shared an experience that was problematic and indicated a possible need for policy change. I’m sure it felt to them as though their statement was being perceived as the issue rather than the problem they hoped to address. Even though it may not feel good, and you may feel alone or unsupported, doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing.

Make a plan.

There are many kinds of plans to guide action. They can be broad and flexible. They can be guided by mission. They can be strategic and specific. They can formally recorded or carried in your head, but cooperation from families or groups will require some sort of communication beyond telepathy.

Follow the plan.

All plans are implemented with action. Steady and small, well-prepared and large, private or public, the steps can be made in many ways over many time frames. Action will keep you moving forward.

Obviously, I have no problem stating many problems right now. But rather than lament all of those, I will be better served to find an appropriate outlet that will let me move past seeing the problem to being part of the solution. In fact, that’s the healthiest way to address inevitable challenges.

I also know sorting through the quagmire will require some grit and momentum. And that’s what I hope to do moving forward.

She regrets nothing: A Q&A with fired Saline County librarian Patty Hector

Looking Backward, Moving Forward – in thriver words (cooking2thrive.com)

Planning for a Win

Well, here we are smack dab in a new year and it’s time to start planning for a win. I’ve always hated the term strategic planning. It’s often thrown around in corporate settings along with an eyeroll that means we’re generating a big report no one will read and we have no intention of following. In spite of that, planning is critically important for improving our health, our enjoyment, and our lives!

B-O-R-I-N-G. I can feel your eyeroll reading this. The thing is, a lack of planning will rob us of safety, leisure, and time down the road. We know this so well we have the cliché: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You can’t prevent unless you know what you’re preventing and make deliberate efforts toward doing so. In order to be deliberate, you must think through the process. This, is planning.

So, how can you motivate yourself to do something that seems useless until you need it?

Observe someone else

What’s difficult to see in ourselves is easy to see in others. Every time you tell your teen that cleaning her room would go faster if she’d organize, remember that organizing is implementation of planning logistics. Every time you tell your son that his homework will be easier if he’ll do his hardest subject first, remember that increasing efficiency by minimizing your weaknesses is planning.

Shop

If you love shopping, get yourself in planning mode by clicking through product pictures that will make your tasks easier. Always running out of printer ink at the most inopportune moment? Find a storage container you love to store extra. Eat too many chips because you forget to buy crunchy vegetables? Favorite a couple of crunchy vegetables in your grocery app so they’ll come up as suggestions next time you shop.

Use the shower

If you feel you can’t spare the time to plan, do the mental work while you’re in the shower. When I designed for clients, most designs started in the shower. I’ve solved a lot of problems there too. I often plan product production in the shower. The only problem is my autopilot isn’t perfect and I sometimes forget to use shampoo.

Find something pleasant

As you open your mind to planning in spite of internal objections, notice if there’s one tiny thing you enjoy about the process. For some of us, hand writing lists in a leather journal with a favorite pen is enough to bridge the gap between reluctance and progress. Planning while sitting in your favorite chair with your favorite beverage can also be pleasant (or fun or dangerous depending your favorite beverage and the amount consumed, no judgement).

When it comes to a workout plan, finding the specific activities that make you feel good will help you adhere to a schedule. In fact, if a workout makes you feel better there won’t be a need for a formal plan. You’ll seek it out. Swimming and yoga are my favorites. Truthfully, I’d rather be doing yoga right now that writing, but that does not fit my plan for today.

Solve a puzzle

Life is a puzzle that’s always adding new pieces. Solving a what-would-I-do-if puzzle can be a great mental exercise. When I see some disaster on TV, I devise a plan for what I would do if faced with that circumstance. I don’t get obsessed by this or start ordering 50 years of supplies. I just think through the possibilities and make a mental checklist. For instance, I have a procedure for the steps to follow if the bridge in front of me is suddenly gone and I can’t stop my car before it plunges. Disaster response is a puzzle to solve. Planning also seeks to put the pieces of life in order.

Reward yourself

A reward at the end of a task isn’t as motivational for me as the inherent benefits of planning that I will enjoy later, but not everyone is like me. If rewarding yourself with two hours of binge watching once you’ve finished the task at hand, then do it. Have food delivered rather than cooking another meal or order a pair of earrings you’ve been eyeing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with incentives!

Be flexible

Any rigid plan can feel stifling at some point so allow yourself some flexibility. You may have saved planning for a rainy day that turns out to be sunny. Don’t strap yourself to your desk, get out and enjoy the sun! You’ll feel more invigorated and motivated later.

Run across an interesting article while you’re researching something? Go ahead and read it, then come back to the task. Too often we read the article, but then punish ourselves for not sticking to the plan. That just demotivates us for the next planning session. Incorporating flexibility instead, frees us to enjoy a digression occasionally without feeling bad.

Be honest

How many of us say we hate planning and then invest hours scoping out the perfect vacation spot with a smile on our faces? Do we really hate planning or is it tolerable when we’re doing something we consider leisure rather than work? Owning our individual quirks, motivations, and tolerances will make every decision easier and more understandable. And it will ease the internal struggle that prevents action.

Bring your sense of humor

No matter how much you plan, some things will go awry. The universe, family, or a boss will throw you an unavoidable curve ball. When plans fail in ironic and silly ways, it’s okay to laugh. If you recognize you’ve become too attached to a plan you didn’t want to make in the first place, it’s okay to laugh. It’s not so much about the plan. Plans often have to be revised. The thought process, expectations, and intentions that show us the path forward are what matters.

Just do it

There is a lot of wisdom to the Nike slogan. Sometimes the first step is all we need to get us going. If you can muscle yourself through one step, just do it and see what happens. Often, the second step is easier and by the 10th you won’t even remember your objection.

Now, get out there and win 2021. It’s going to be a tough one, but that’s no reason not to excel and thrive! Planning now will help later as challenges appear.

Winning is being informed. Winning is showing up. Winning is stretching yourself. Winning is being kind. Winning is embracing change. Winning is seeing the opportunity in every challenge. Winning is loving your flaws. Winning is learning. Winning is understanding your value. Winning is listening. Winning is contributing. Winning is speaking your truth. Winning is granting yourself grace. Winning is granting grace to those you do not like or understand. Winning is accepting love.

Winning is giving. Winning is…limitless.

You Can Never be Too Prepared…Can You?

You Can Never be Too Prepared…Can You?

planYou can never be too prepared…can you?

As small children we learn to stop, drop, and roll. As teens we’re encouraged to be prepared to practice safe sex. As adults, we are oft admonished to prepare for the future by contributing to a retirement account. That’s three examples of ways we’re encouraged to prepare, but there are hundreds: take AP courses to prepare for college, get your flu shot, have a safe place to go in a tornado, wear your seat belt, have enough savings available to cover 3-6 months of bills, buy life insurance, know the best glide speed of your airplane, rehearse your dance moves before a performance, practice shooting free throws, learn CPR, take an umbrella, put your gloves in your pocket, etc. Much of our time and energy is spent preparing for something.

When I was learning to fly, most of the training time was focussed on preventing or preparing for a malfunction or emergency. Once I had mastered the procedures, my instructor deemed me ready to fly solo. Could I have flown the plane before that? Yes. And I could have done it safely as long as everything went as planned. But I would not have been ready to make a lifesaving split-second decision in the event of a catastrophic event.

Preparation is a good thing. It allows us to excel in sports and academics. It makes for productive meetings. It gives us food that is elevated from its original state. It calms our minds. It sometimes saves our lives. I am all for being prepared. In fact, I believe it’s sometimes critical.

But is it possible to over-prepare?
prepare
Preparedness or Fear?

I have a friend who describes traveling with his former girlfriend as a regimented execution of her meticulous planning. Each attraction, restaurant, and hotel was identified in advance and mandatory in inclusion. His hankering for BBQ rather than Tex-Mex simply could not be accommodated.

This begs the question of whether the girlfriend was over or under prepared. Obviously, she was logistically prepared, but it seems she was not confident and relaxed enough to vary from her plan even if it would have enhanced the overall experience.

This is an example of how fear can cloak itself in preparedness. When this happens, preparedness takes on a life of its own and begins to hold us back rather than providing a foundation for us to move forward.

My sister prepared for over a year to become gluten-free. She researched taco seasoning mixes, doughnuts, restaurant menus, one-to-one flour mixes – everything that she needed to know to feel prepared. Then she did a pantry challenge to make sure no food went to waste. The preparation period went on so long that she started to believe going gluten-free would be really hard.

Luckily, she didn’t talk herself out of the original goal. After a year with less pain, more energy, and fewer sinus problems, she admitted that she had made things much harder than they needed to be. She had prepared past the point of readiness.

While my sister still managed to move forward, my 98-year-old cousin stopped herself from the trip to Alaska she wishes she’d taken. She was so focused on saving for the future that she stayed home while her friends had the time of their lives. If she had been struggling financially, that could have made sense. She wasn’t. She had more than enough. Again, fear masqueraded as preparedness.

You’ve probably known someone who buys way more food than they need because they fear they’ll run out, or keeps going back to school but never pursues the new job for which they’re more than qualified. You may know an amazing artist whose work sits in the back room while their spreadsheet of galleries to contact grows. They are all adequately prepared to move forward, but may tell you they’ll make the move as soon as they prepare in x, y, or z way.

Preparedness vs Being Present

When you spend your time preparing for the future, you cannot fully experience the present. The truth is, we can never prepare for every possible circumstance that will affect us. This is an area in which it is wise to choose our battles.

Choose to Prepare…or Not

What are some things to look for when making preparedness choices? Here are five questions to ask yourself:

1)Does it require buying something, using a specific service, or taking a medication that is being advertised to me? If so, it is good to think twice. Some marketers and advertisers prey upon fear to drive sales. This is sometimes disguised in rhetoric of prevention or preparedness.

2)How much time, money, or effort will the preparation take in relation to the likelihood of the threat? If you live in Missouri, there’s no real need to prepare for a hurricane. On the other hand, it is a good idea to know the safest place in your house in the event of a tornado.

3)Am I laying the groundwork for moving forward, or am I avoiding something? Preparing yourself for the worst possible response from your spouse may keep you from broaching a topic that needs to be resolved. You can also avoid cleaning out the closet by continually exploring containers, racks, bins, and other organizational tools before you get started.

4)Have I reached the point of over-attachment to one specific approach or idea? Over-preparing for a meeting may keep you from really hearing a potential client’s objections because you have become so focused on the script you’ve rehearsed in your head. Over-preparing for parenting can mean you fail to notice the most effective way to motivate a specific child.

5)Am I truly preparing, or just shielding myself from making a decision? As long as I’m still in training or strategically planning, I don’t have to make an active decision to do anything. It’s great having one foot in and one foot out. I can hold onto the dream that makes me sound good in conversation and still stay stuck in the muck.

I say all of this to prepare you for the posts that will come next. Many of us must heal our bodies, minds, and spirits in order to thrive. The path to healing has common elements for all of us. Mapping the process can help you know what to expect along the way.

It’s easy for “experts” to tell us we will see a difference in days or weeks or quickly when we begin healing process. That can be true, but it’s not the whole story. If it were, no one would give up on a health plan after 6 months, relapse, or go back to an abusive relationship. Having a map to guide you can help you persevere in the moments when backward feels better than forward.

Don’t worry, amidst all this mapping there will be cooking too. The food and the process offer many tools for healing.

Next up, we’ll prepare…you had to know that was coming.

Until then, I wish you warm hugs and kind words.

https://news.vanderbilt.edu/2017/09/22/personal-preparedness-why-prepare-2/

http://www.cooking2thrive.com/blog/think-going-gluten-free-is-hard-visualization-can-help/

http://www.cooking2thrive.com/blog/time-is-on-your-side/