Lifestyle can be a Piece of Cake – Page 30

Stop Struggling! Start THRIVING!

Good morning and Happy New Year!

Christmas — My cousin who's been thriving for 92 years!

What a great day to become more aware of ourselves and our relationship to our lives! Did you awaken this morning rested, smiling, and excited about the possibilities today brings? Are you looking forward to the Rose Parade, a good bowl game, and dining on black-eyed peas and greens while still in your pjs, or are you feeling hung-over, angry over the hardships of last year, and annoyed that you won’t be able to eat whatever you want today because your health requires limitations?

Do you feel content or dissatisfied?

Are you too busy or numb to even know how you feel?

I will admit it would be easier to force a smile, make the usual list of resolutions to be ignored, growl over every healthy choice as though it’s deprivation and have a glass of wine to take the edge off. Perhaps you can even reward yourself with dessert tonight since you skipped the doughnuts this morning. After all, that’s the norm, right?

Unfortunately, it’s a norm that’s often reinforced by our surroundings, our friends, our families, and the media. And there’s a certain amount of comfort in conforming to the norm. If we fit the mold, conventional wisdom tells us, then we’ll be seen as “good”, acceptable, and lovable. Yet many of us work hard, perform well, do what’s expected only to spend most of our time feeling as though we’re pushing ourselves from one struggle to the next. We do not feel more loved or more joyous.

How can we stop struggling? By controlling our circumstances, right?

If removing struggle is predicated on controlling our environment, we will always be fighting our surroundings, feeling angry and dissatisfied that we never seem to get ahead. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. We may believe that we can be masters of our own destiny, but we cannot control our spouse, our boss, the reckless driver who hits our car, or the tornado that hits our home. We can do everything right and life will still present us with challenges over which we have no control. The longer we choose to fight, the longer we choose to struggle. If we struggle long enough, we will drown any possible joy under the weight of perceived difficulties.

Like the drowning swimmer, we believe that fighting to keep our head above water is the way to preserve ourselves. Like the drowning swimmer, we must calm ourselves and allow our surroundings to buoy us in order to survive.

By now, you’re probably thinking I’m crazy. That’s okay with me. I cannot control you. Not only that, I don’t want to. I do want you to stop struggling and start living!

How can you do that?

First, recognize that it will be a process. There’s no quick fix for a lifelong struggler.

Next, develop practices that support the process. You’ll need these for reinforcement when fear stands in your way.

Third, begin to recognize the preconceived ideas with which you filter life experience. Get curious about how another point of view may feel and allow yourself to experience that difference without expectation regarding the outcome.

Fourth, let go of your protective persona in order to allow your authentic self to be known. This will require setting boundaries and making choices. With good boundaries for protection, you can begin to open yourself to receiving. This is the environment in which real connections begin.

Fifth, step into your personal power. You must be present to win! Experiencing personal power is all about being present.

Sixth, practice, practice, practice. Note the experiences that make you feel more whole, connected, encouraged, supported, and joyous. Repeat those experiences when you can. Visualize them when repetition is not available. (Here are a view visualization possibilities for me.)

Seventh, acknowledge and appreciate the experiences you note. Revel in these positives with the same amount of energy you previously devoted to struggle.

Eighth, acknowledge and appreciate yourself.

Ninth, acknowledge and appreciate others.

Tenth, sit still, do nothing, be, be, be. You are enough. When you know you’re enough, you will live a full life and make a great contribution. When you know you’re enough, you will make healthy choices. We like to call that thriving!

Is all of this easier said than done? Of course it is. But feeling better is worth it and we’ll be here to feed and nourish you along the way.

Happy New Year!

What is the Best Thing about a White Christmas?

This morning, I’ve been looking out the window at the 10 inches of snow that fell on Christmas. It is beautiful. The branches on my elm tree are sparkling in the sunlight. The streets are quiet because we have no snowplows in the south so most people are staying home. I feel relaxed because I don’t have to hurry to get ready and get out the door to get to the office by a certain time. In fact, I feel like I’m able to move at my own pace instead of at the pace of someone else’s expectations.

Is that it? Is it that the snow frees us from the usual expectations, takes away the pressure of rushing around to accomplish the too many tasks of our over-scheduled lives, and allows us to move at the pace we determine is correct to meet our immediate needs?

Is it the quiet that comes from the soft snow cushion that muffles sound, plus less traffic noise, and no airplanes passing overhead? Is it the beauty of the snow’s changing reflection of light that keeps pulling us into the moment?

All of these questions have run through my head as I’ve relished the quiet peacefulness of the day, lingered over coffee, left the TV off, and wiggled contentedly under the blanket covering my legs. I feel less pressured, more peaceful, and more connected to the being of life rather than the activities of life. I am able to continually watch the light changing on the snow and stay right here in the moment.

It is as if the veil that clouds life’s possibilities has been lifted and I am free to explore what I want right this minute. I don’t have to try to get around to seeing my options once I’ve met everyone else’s deadlines (a time I know will not come before I’m too exhausted to care). I can stay in, or bundle up and go out. I can shovel my walk, or see how many funny looking footprints I can make. I can cook brownies and then cake and then the bread that has been rising to the warmth of the oven vent. There’s plenty of time for the bread to rise twice without me having to plan ahead. I can put on make-up or I can skip a shower. I can read a book, organize photos, meditate, do yoga, or just sit quietly and be with myself.

This is the kind of day I want to have every day – the kind in which I’m present in the moment, open to the possibilities, and deliberate in the activities I choose. For me, such a day always begins with stillness and quiet. That’s the very best thing about a White Christmas – beauty that keeps me focused in the moment, and the blank slate created by a blanket of stillness and quiet. It is from this place that all good things begin.

Coffee – The Good, The Bad, and The Unusual

Good morning coffee lovers. If you’re awake and reading this, I’m sure you have your favorite vessel in hand and steam on your face as you read. I prefer to drink my coffee piping hot and black out of a pottery mug with no handle that fits perfectly in my hand. Ben prefers to drink his from fine china with a razor-thin lip. This visual always strikes me as funny. Not to be missed are the great coffee related stories that abound. I have a client whose stepfather left never to return after finding a small dried-up tree frog in the china mug he insisted upon when visiting the family farm.

Anyway, if you’re a regular coffee drinker, I’m sure you have your own favorite blend, cup, mug, coffee shop, routine, or garnish. I’m also sure you love reading each new report citing the health benefits of consuming coffee: Longer Lives, Reduced incidence of Alzheimer’s, Less Skin Cancer, Increased Heart Health (before the 4th cup), and Decreased Risk of Stroke.(1) You may even feel the immediate calm I feel when the first waft of coffee aroma reaches me from the drive-through window at Starbucks.

Most mornings, I make coffee at home. I like to start with dark roasted coffee beans gleaming with oil. I want them to produce a taste that’s well balanced and not bitter. I have the press-a-lever coffee dispenser in which I fill the reservoir to 7 cups. I don’t how 7 came to be the magic number or why it persists since I usually have coffee left over and wont to land tepidly in my cup the following morning because I’ve forgotten to drain out the excess when I’m fully saturated. Nonetheless, 7 cups it is.

As coffee beans have become increasingly expensive, I have become increasingly conscious of a desire not to waste the excess. When I remember, I remove the excess dispenser contents before I leave for work. I place the coffee in a plastic container on the counter or in the refrigerator. Once I have the coffee sitting there, I need some creative ways to make use of it. Here are a few of the things I’ve successfully tried:

Using coffee to replace part of the liquid in brownies or chocolate cake. The coffee enhances and deepens the richness of the chocolate flavor.

Using as an ingredient in molasses cookies.

Deglazing a pan in which I’m cooking beef. The coffee makes a savory broth even darker and bolder.

Thinking about making Red Eye Gravy, but I rarely have ham and I don’t like gravy that much so thinking is as far as I get on this one. On the other hand, I have used coffee as part of the liquid in a more standard brown gravy.

Using the steam and warmth of mug full of coffee to relieve sinus pain back in the days when I had allergies. (Yes, I said, “had”. Thanks to zero-gluten and Oregano Oil, this is no longer an issue.) Breathe the steam and then apply the side of the mug directly to the sinuses.

Reheating to drink as “emergency” coffee when I’ve run out of beans.

Mixing with a spice reduction, then applying to my hair to reduce the gray.

Watering herbs or houseplants that need more acid in the soil. I don’t know if this is really helpful, but it hasn’t hurt them yet and it makes me feel less wasteful.

Some of you are probably excited about a new idea that was sparked by reading these options. Others of you may be wondering why I don’t just make less coffee. That’s a valid question, but here’s the thing – some days, I drink that much coffee. Sometimes, work unexpectedly beckons early leaving me with too little time to savor this pleasure. Another issue is that in my groggy pre-coffee state on any given morning, I can’t seem to muster the presence to determine how much I will want.

Rather than fight what feels natural, I’ve learned to expand the possibilities, make myself feel good about my decisions, and give you a few new options to consider be they good, bad, or just unusual.

(1)Brice, Mikini. “Seven Surprising Health Benefits of Coffee.” Medical Daily RSS. Medical Daily, 16 Aug. 2012. Web. 08 Dec. 2012.

Can A Small Shift in Perception Equal a Huge Change in Viewpoint?

This morning I had a real problem getting dressed. I was standing in my closet looking at everything hanging there feeling annoyed, irritated, and uninspired. Normally this would be because I want to look crisp and tailored, but didn’t want to feel anything touching me. (Yes, I realize how this sounds, but it’s true.) This morning, I really wanted to wear navy blue. I took out a navy blue dress with white polka dots and a jacket with a matching blue stripe. Then I had to find tights and shoes. I don’t own any navy tights. They’re all black, brown, or gray. I don’t own any navy shoes, although I look for some every time I shop, but I wouldn’t have to iron the polka dot dress or the blue and white striped jacket, so I took them out of the closet, hung them from the knobs of my dresser, and paired them with black tights and black Mary Jane heels. Hanging there under a skylight with the black tights draped over the hanger, I noticed that the navy blue seemed to morph into black. Or maybe it was black to begin with and I just thought it was blue? Who knows? Now I had managed to run late and time was of overriding importance. The two colors are so close that when I left the house, I felt comfortable that I looked good enough for the event I was attending that included the governor, mayor, and many local business leaders.

Driving to work, I started thinking about navy blue and black and my perception of the difference. In the sunlight through my windshield, my dress looked noticeably blue again. Noticing this difference, I started thinking about subtle shifts of light and subtle shifts in perception. With a background in graphic design, I know that color perception changes when color is viewed in natural light versus artificial light, on a less reflective surface versus a more reflective surface, or when one color is surrounded by another color. Is it possible that I can use this knowledge to explore small shifts in perception in other areas?

Will it be less convenient? Let’s say I’m planning to pick up burgers on the way home tonight. Instead of driving through my usual fast-food chain, as I leave the office I’ll call a locally owned restaurant and order hamburger steaks with baked potatoes and salad for pick-up. It will be ready when I get there.

What stays the same? I’m picking up dinner on my way home. I will be eating beef and potatoes. Because I’m calling in advance, I’ll still eat at my planned mealtime.

What will change? I’m making a phone call in advance. I’ll see different scenery because I will drive a different route home. A salad is included in the price, so I don’t have to order something additional to get some greens. I won’t eat a whole hamburger steak (maybe), so I’ll have some left over for a snack tomorrow. If I order a burger on a bun, I always eat the whole thing.

For you the changes may be slightly different. You may be able to feed two children with a hamburger steak, plus have a chance to request that the bread included in the price be wrapped separately so that any gluten-eaters in the house can have a double portion. You may discover that the price difference between hamburger steak and a hamburger and fries is more than offset by the increased amount of food you receive. Such a transaction creates an opportunity to teach your children about sharing and value for your dollar. You can also show your family by example that proactively taking care of your health is something you consider important. In addition, you can support a locally owned restaurant. It’s possible that this will increase your sense of community as you become friendly with the restaurateurs.

Are these changes so bad, or so significant, that they create an insurmountable roadblock? For me, they seem like a small shift in my normal routine and I feel as comfortable with these shifts as I do pairing my navy blue dress with black shoes. I still want some navy blue shoes, but I am able to feel satisfied that I look good without them. I still want a fluffy gluten-filled biscuit for Christmas breakfast, but I feel satisfied with Cooking2Thrive’s Success, Biscuits!

As the temptations of the holidays abound, I hope you’ll consider that it may take only a small shift in perception to make embracing a gluten-free way of living a piece of cake!