Balance what you can’t do by shifting to focus on what you can do. Right now, there are so many things we can’t do. We can’t go to work. We can’t sit in our favorite restaurant or even take our laptop to Starbucks for some people watching. We can’t have a birthday party. We can’t get always get the food we want, the laundry detergent we prefer, or toilet paper at all. It’s legitimately frustrating and can lead to a pattern in which we get caught in a loop of negativity.
This is a challenge that’s faced during normal times by those of us who have to restrict our diets in certain ways to feel good and be healthy. That too is legitimately frustrating. The key to avoiding consistent low level anger and stress in both situations is to balance what you can’t do by shifting to focus on what you can.
I love puzzling through problems. When I have a computer issue, I get so caught up in the steps of trying a solution and observing the response that I lose track of time. Hours can pass before I remember to get up and move around.
It’s not that the problem doesn’t irritate me. It’s not that I’m happy that I can’t get my work assignments done. But I also recognize that my mind is invigorated by troubleshooting and I am usually successful!
Conquering the machine is a great feeling! That’s what I choose to focus on when a computer problem arises. And if I can’t directly solve the problem, I look for a work around. That’s another invigorating puzzle.
My grandmother used to say, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” While that’s a pretty gruesome visual, I took the message to heart. Any time I feel stuck, I repeat that to myself. When I can’t immediately see an alternative, I walk away from the problem and do laundry or dishes or file the papers on my desk–something to keep my hands busy and let my mind wander.
Before you know it, an idea will pop into my head. If that option doesn’t work, at least I know I had an idea. If I had one, I bet I can have another one. Before you know it, I’m in a spiral of ideas that are moving me forward! I get caught in a pattern of positivity.
I’m certainly not immune to the feelings of anger, sadness, and loss that come with giving up what was or how I want things to be. I struggle and fill my friends’ ears full sometimes. I try to be aware enough to make sure that’s part of the process of letting those feelings move through and out rather than a way to wallow.
The past month has presented an ever-growing list of things we can’t do. The upcoming months will present more. Accepting that reality while holding the idea in our minds that there will be other things, perhaps that we’ve never considered, that we CAN do is the key to keeping us from a cycle of negativity. My intention for this week is to be mindful and put my focus on what I can do.
So I’ll end with the obvious questions this brings. What can I do? What can you do?
