Uncategorized – Page 6 – in thriver words

Unacceptable

The toll of seeing what’s unacceptable looms large. This post is aimed more specifically than most. It is not for those who find it easy to accept what’s put in front of them at face value, go with the flow, and find the best in everything. This post is for those who see and tell the truth amidst dysfunction because it is who they are.

We grow up filling certain roles within our families. Sometimes those roles vary over time. But there seems to be a class of folks who early on see dysfunction and refuse to participate. They question. They don’t enable. They instinctively don’t divulge personal details or engage with manipulative behavior. They know when parents are lying even if that lie is just how the parent feels about what they’re saying.

Young child stands in front of blank wall clothed in a pink tutu.

All children are willing to speak truth that is socially unacceptable for adults to voice, but truth seers go beyond that. Truth seers understand manipulation before they know the word. They know violence and abuse are wrong, sometimes before they can verbally describe the terms. They often recognize subtle hypocrisy and bias.

If you are one of those children who has grown into an adult, you are well suited to meet difficult moments. You’re able to sort through information and discern the best steps for you to thrive. Bucking your family’s traditions in order to keep yourself healthy is most likely a simple extension of behavior you routinely embrace.

What can we possibly offer you?

The knowledge that we see your courage as you hold positions supported by science, history, and experience in the face of a majority that disparages those positions. The understanding that it can be lonely and exhausting to continue to hold the line against popular myths and deliberate gaslighting. The assurance you are not alone

We know your sense of loss and the grief it brings. We know the feeling of futility that can momentarily overwhelm. And we know your resilience.

You are poised to be an agent of change. You meet the moment. You sustain yourself and better the rest of us.

We do not doubt your intentions when you tell us hard truths. We will consider observations that make us uncomfortable and offer a chance to explore our beliefs and motivations.

We won’t abandon you over something minor, and we reserve the right to adjust, rethink, and counterargue when we find your truth at odds with ours.

We recognize what is true for us may not be true for you. We know you understand this. And we know you see vastly larger truths that affect us all.

We stand in solidarity with truth seers, truth speakers, and brave leaders who support good health, compassionate lives, and a dedication to the betterment of ourselves, our communities, and our world. We want you to thrive so that all of us can thrive.

Thank you for travailing the loneliness and isolation of standing against waves of misinformation, mischaracterization, and general wisdom that isn’t wise at all.

Seeing unacceptable truths is hard. Disparaging you and the truth you represent is also unacceptable.

TooGood

With no indication that prices are coming down, you may be looking for bargains like toogoodtogo in 2026. I stumbled on this app accidentally. Participating stores and restaurants in your area will offer bags of food at discounted prices.

Sometimes the bag will be a Surprise meaning you’ll have no idea what’s in it when you order. Whole Foods sometimes categorizes into Bakery Bags, Produce Bags, or Prepared Food bags in addition to the Surprise Bag. In my area, a Whole Foods Bakery Bag contains about $21 worth of baked goods for about $7 and a Prepared Food bag is about $10 for $30 worth of food.

Items typically have dates that are about to expire and are not customizable. This can be dicey if you have food restrictions. But with specialized foods costing more, a household that has some members without restrictions can help keep the budget balanced by taking advantage of these savings.

Rescuing this food is also a way to reduce food waste. Your profile lets you track the reduction in CO2e emissions and water use you contributed to as well as the money you saved. Using this app is a good way to have a positive impact on the environment even if you’re short on time and money.

There are obvious advantages for those who live in larger metropolitan areas. Here, there are a handful of participating stores and restaurants. In Los Angeles, there are many more. For a full list of participating stores, you have to download the app.

Toogoodtogo isn’t the only app for securing discounted food. Flashfood is available in some markets featuring deals up to 50% off from stores like Kroger, Loblaws, Meijer, Gelson’s, Family Fare, Piggly Wiggly, Martin’s, VG’s Grocery, Lucky California, Tops Friendly Markets, and Giant Eagle.

Flashfood’s 2024 Impact Report says 32,154, 406 pounds of food were diverted from landfills while saving customers $80,031,034. It also lists the reduction in CO2e emissions. I don’t know where that falls as a percentage of all food waste, but reduction is reduction and that seems like a good thing.

There are also apps that focus less on food waste and more on saving money. These include your local grocery store’s app. Stores like Target, Safeway, Walmart, and Costco offer deals, rewards, and coupons.

Other apps like Ibotta and Checkout 51 allow you to scan your receipt and submit it for cashback. Fetch awards points when you scan receipts. Eventually you can turn the points into gift cards. Flip lets you find the best deal on a specific item by letting you browse digital flyers from nearby grocery stores. You can then add it to an in-app shopping list.

As you implement your plans for 2026, be sure to take advantage of apps that will help you save money and have a positive impact on the planet. How can doing good ever be too good?

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Man cannot live on bread alone…or here’s what I learned last week!

https://share.toogoodtogo.com/storelocator/

https://www.toogoodtogo.com/en-us/press/too-good-to-go-in-los-angeles

https://flashfood.com/en/locations

https://cdn.sanity.io/files/7topkt8d/production/2c0c26898774a4ce798aa6d3220bd861c45a7232.pdf

Come On Over!

Invite the neighbors to come on over! My phone is full of smiley faces, confetti, and hearts. The neighborhood text thread is full of love. Why? We got together for a chili party Saturday night. It’s Monday and the friendly glow continues.

We didn’t do anything spectacular. The theme was chili. Everybody was to bring their own drinks and something to eat. We’d meet in the alley. When the weather offered possible thunderstorms and a tornado watch, we moved from the alley to a house. No one became disgruntled. Everyone adjusted and came away feeling lucky to live where we live.

We’re ready to plan a Halloween event. Can it be that simple to spread good will? Maybe. Possibly. Probably. Why not try it?

I’ve lived in all sorts of neighborhoods. My two favorite are my current two – my house location and a long-term RV park. Both share a common characteristic – the neighbors care about each other.

It could be true where you live. It takes a little effort to find out, but not that much. Starts with hello, get a phone number, and play it by ear. Calling, “Come on Over!” when you see someone out in the yard can be extremely effective. And it doesn’t hurt to have the bar stocked and some cheese and olives on hand.

I always have something gluten-free I can throw on a plate. And I try to make sure I can offer something non-dairy and plant based if someone stops by. But more instrumental to getting together versus staying separate is to let go of expectations, keep it simple, and just do it. If it doesn’t happen today, try again in a few.

On my block, we have ages ranging from 20s to 80s. We hang out together in various configurations on a regular basis. We have snowball fights, go sledding, celebrate New Years and take food to each other when someone is sick. No one is trying to be heroic. We just value each other and enjoy the camaraderie.

It took household two years of invitations to feel comfortable attending an event, but prior to that, we exchanged food, and recipes, and said hello on the street. Once they finally came, they loved it! We knew they would, but patience is sometimes required.

Food and cooking are important, but social connection is as well. I highly recommend leaving your screen conversations to sit on a porch, share some noshes, and listen to stories. In-person interaction feeds our spirit. And it gives us a chance to learn that we like sloe gin, need a recipe for corn pudding, and love hummus mixed with tzatziki.

Talk long enough and you may find a new workout partner, writing coach, newsletter editor, or babysitter. The upside of hanging with the neighbors is limitless. Next time you see your neighbors outside, take a chance and invite them to come on over!

Paradox

Current events constantly remind me of paradox. Each day presents many to consider, but perhaps the most poignant is the only certainty is that nothing is ever certain.

Two images of same man side by side. On left, looks normal. On right, looks like zombie.

Uncertainty is causing businesses small and large distress. It has increased anxiety among those whose health insurance is provided by Medicaid or subsidized by the ACA. And it contributes to delays in making decisions.

We like to believe that there are constants, things we can count on that will never change. That idea provides a feeling of safety, security, and comfort. But it is mostly an idea or a framework of ideas that we each create. Very little is, in fact, certain.

And while there are a few mostly certain likelihoods – the sun will come up, something will provide shade, it will be dark at night, the weather will change – institutions no longer function as expected, we seem to have less shared values, and our communities are not as cohesive as they once were. All of this can leave us feeling as though we are unmoored, ungrounded, lost at sea.

Life will be easier if we embrace uncertainty as a friend, not a foe. But how can we do that when every day feels dangerous?

Here are a few things that can help:

Accept that we can never know or predict accurately what any given day will bring.
Understand that we can only control ourselves.
Know your value and values.
Set good boundaries.
Develop, review, and revise priorities.
Ask for help when needed.
Absorb accolades and compliments.
Practice gratitude.
Be reliable and faithful to others in the way you desire them to be for you.
Laugh at the absurd.
Laugh at irony.
Cry for your losses.
Grant yourself grace.
Grant others grace.
Hold people accountable.
Pause before posting.
Say no so you can say yes.
Hold your ground and be willing to compromise.
Choose to let go.
Adjusting isn’t losing. Let yourself adjust.
Choose your battles.
Eat well. Sleep enough. Drink lots of water.
Embrace nature.
Make time to do regularly do something you enjoy.

While all of these can help, sitting with fear may be the skill most needed to prevent paralysis from uncertainty. Fear is not permanent. All emotions are fleeting. Some linger for a long time, but all of them come, go, morph, and shift.

The quickest way to diffuse fear is to feel it. Feel it. Sit with it. Stay in that spot until the fear dissipates. It will. And obviously, we’ve encountered another paradox – the quickest way to not feel fear is to quickly let yourself feel fear.

Can we say that uncertainty is a certainty? Of course we can because today is all about paradox.