Sometimes, it can be hard to stop reeling. I just had much of my sewer line replaced. When they marked the underground utilities, they put a flag indicating the gas lines and painted an arrow toward the area that was marked for digging. Being one who makes lots of procedural plans for emergencies, my mind began to explore all the possible effects of a tractor nicking a gas line by my house.
I know full well the damage a slight gas line nick can do. The phone company in my hometown exploded one night after excavation work near the building. The break in the line was so small, the workers didn’t notice. But gas built up and at 4:33am something sparked.
The explosion awakened my parents who lived 8 miles away. Many buildings had to be razed, and others show lingering property damage 44 years later. Obviously, a tiny thing became a big thing.
With that memory and my general inclination to prevent or rehearse responses to dangerous situations, the sewer replacement risk had the potential to leave me reeling from possibilities that might never come to fruition. A similar thing can happen when we’re sent for a medical test. Sometimes, the potential for a life-threatening or chronic illness leaves us reeling to the degree it becomes debilitating. This can also happen after a traumatic event.
For most of us, most of the time, we’ll regain equilibrium fairly quickly. We just need a little time to process whatever it is that has thrown us off. But occasionally, some of us get stuck. We can’t stop spinning.
It’s okay to spin for awhile in most cases. But sometimes we don’t have that luxury. And no one needs to spin so long they can’t get out of that motion. Having a plan (example of my aforementioned planning propensity) before you find yourself in that situation can be helpful.
What can you do to lessen the reeling?
Be kind to yourself. Accept that everyone will have things that throw them off at times. It’s no reason to doubt yourself, hate yourself, or to feel stupid or inadequate. You’re not weak just because you’re momentarily overwhelmed. Being kind to yourself can help keep you from a spiral of negative self-talk.
Support your system. Do your best to consume fresh, healthy food at regular intervals. Drink plenty of water. Allow yourself plenty of time for sleep. Get outside if you can. Move – walk, dance, swim, do yoga, play tennis. Spend time with friends when you can. The body and mind are inseparable. Supporting your body will have positive benefits for your mental state as well.
Get curious. In my sewer situation, it helped to ask the contractor for more information about the process he would use. Who would he send? What king of equipment would be used? Where would they start digging? In a health situation, it’s okay to get curious as well. Your healthcare team can answer questions about next steps, treatment plans, and outcome statistics. Knowing you’re making informed decisions can help you stop reeling.
Feel your feelings. Don’t try to talk yourself out of your feelings. Don’t actively avoid them. Feelings will change more quickly if you’ll allow them to flow.
Sit with your fear. Reeling often includes fear that may manifest as confusion, irritability, or impatience. If you sit quietly with fear, it will eventually dissipate. With practice you’ll be able to move in and out of your feeling with a modicum of control. This will allow you to function and feel less helpless.
Talk to someone. Things that are kept secret sometimes take on a life of their own. And things often seem more daunting before you say them out loud. Talk to a friend or a professional. Just saying your feelings out loud can help you recenter.
Use somatic techniques to calm the lower brain. From breathing to movement to grounding, there are many techniques that can help calm your lower brain. Once the amygdala is calmed, executive function can return.
If you find you continue to be stuck in spite of your best efforts, consider seeking professional help. There are many types of therapy. Not all of them involve verbally regurgitating your problems. You are in control of choosing the practitioner and treatment option that feels most helpful.
Reeling is uncomfortable and unsettling. It can affect your relationships, parenting, and work performance. This may not be pleasant, but it may be a natural part of the process of coming to terms with new information. It’s only problematic if it becomes chronic. Otherwise, you can think of it as a twirl in the dance of life.
Dance it out and let it go.
