When traveling to see friends or relatives with whom you only occasionally visit, prepare them in advance for your gluten-free way of living. It is best not to assume that they will remember your eating plan just because you told them last time they saw you…and the time before…and the time before.
If your loved ones do not remember that you are gluten-free, please try not to take it as a slight or an insult. A failure to focus on this detail of your life does not automatically mean they don’t care about you. It just means that your dietary concerns are not one of the things they must remember in order to navigate everyday life so it is natural to forget over time. When you think about it, they probably don’t remember your shoe size, your favorite book of all time, your junior high boyfriend’s name, the color of your first car, or the Pythagorean theorem either. Before you are tempted to add that as fuel to a they-don’t-care-about-me fire, take a moment to note that you probably don’t remember that Aunt Sue had gout when she was 50, or Uncle Bill drinks a coke at exactly 10 am every morning, or that your cousin Carol hates to eat any sort of fish prepared in any sort of manner. You know this doesn’t mean you don’t care about them. This kind of forgetting is natural.
Your announcement or reminder of your gluten-free status can be part of the natural flow of trip planning. As you discuss logistics for airport pick-ups, sleeping arrangements, theatre tickets, amusement park visits, and the like, include a simple statement in an email that says: By the way, I have to follow a gluten-free eating plan. That means I won’t be able to consume any food that contains wheat, rye, barley, malt, or oats. Once we arrive, I can make a quick trip to the store to pick up a few items that will fit in with the menu you already have planned. Also, don’t worry, I can usually find a suitable choice at any restaurant we visit. In the rare instance this is not the case, I always have a backup plan so it won’t be an issue. I just want you to know in advance why I’m skipping the pancakes at breakfast. I’m so looking forward to having this time together.
If your host then expresses an interest in learning more, use the opportunity to give him/her the specifics needed to make the trip go smoothly. Let kindness and consideration be your guide as you determine the easiest way to maintain compliance while allowing the host to feel good about accommodating you. Make simplicity a priority so that extra work is kept to a minimum. This can be a delicate dance. Remember to express your gratitude for each special accommodation along the way.
Sometimes you may be met with resistance. That does not mean you’re doing anything wrong, so do not let this deter you from following your plan. In this instance, do not expect or push for accommodation. Take the initiative to purchase and prepare items that meet your needs. If there is a notoriously difficult personality involved, you may need to leave the premises, eat compliant food, and then return to snack on a salad or some vegetables at mealtime. Nothing can be gained in a tug-of-war over whether your gluten-free regimen is necessary. You do not need to change this person’s mind. All you need to do is remain compliant with your plan and take care of yourself.
When traveling a relatively short distance by car, you may want to pack a basket full of gluten-free treats to share. Including others in your world allows them to feel more kinship with you and can serve to lessen their fear of embracing a different way of eating.
Preparing your host in advance communicates that you value them as an ally in your quest to be healthy. It shows respect by giving them time to adjust shopping lists and meal plans if they so choose, and it establishes in advance that you will be politely refusing to eat a piece of cake, no matter how moist, chocolaty, and deliciously homemade it may be.
