Boiling Point

Water may always boil at the same temperature, but humans reach their boiling point quicker when conditions are stressful. Think of stress as water from the hot water tank. If you fill your pot with hot water from the faucet, it will boil faster than if you fill it with cold water.

Many of us currently live in situations that feel like hot water. A tiny bit of added stress can feel like the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. We boil over before we even see our response coming.

Here, the heat and humidity add stress earlier and earlier each year. It doesn’t take much to set off a driver who has just jumped in a hot car. Road rage becomes a bigger risk.

Frequent surgeries can keep a parent from their children. On top of that, the child may see all sorts of frightening equipment when they visit the hospital. If that child is then made fun of at school, their reaction may be 10 times larger than it would have been before. Labeling as a problem child becomes a bigger risk.

A disabled family member may require hours of care each week leaving caregivers without time for recreation or rest. This may lead to impatience with spouses or children from the most previously patient person in the family.

When one person in a family or group that lives together begins to express themselves differently, it affects everyone. That can be a tough pill to swallow when we self-reflect. We may recognize that we have inadvertently become a cog that contributes to stress in our family.

As hard as it may be to realize we are part of the problem, we can choose to see it as great news. Perhaps not immediately. We may have to process feelings of shame or guilt, inadequacy or fear. But once we have enough perspective to be clear-headed, we can embrace our power to change the situation.

A lot of us spend way too much time trying to control what happens around us when the only thing we can really change is ourselves. But changing ourselves will also change what happens around us. We may be able to lower the temperature in our homes with some simple changes to how we relate within our families.

Sounds easy to say the words, but we all know it’s extremely difficult. And when dysfunction abounds, it can be hard to change while keeping our self-image intact. The system may push back against change by doubling-down to force us back into familiar patterns.

This response can put us in a frustrating and/or painful position. Any time someone we rely on for support seems to continually disagree or push back when we were previously in sync, it can affect how we view ourselves and our decisions. Even with strong resolve, we may begin to question ourselves or long to reconnect with such fervor that we acquiesce to the pressure.

The problem is that dysfunctional connection is still dysfunctional. It may feel familiar, even normal, and for a moment, less stressful, but we are sacrificing long-term stress relief for short-term calm.

Writing this, I realize I unintentionally described the cyclic pattern of domestic abuse which also boils over. I really meant to focus on recognition of baseline stress and our ability to change ourselves in service of reducing it. Now, I feel a need to address the perils of changing ourselves for peace.

If changing yourself threatens an oppressive, violent, abusive living situation, you should absolutely change AND GET OUT! Get protection. Get support. Get out. Right now, I’m speaking to adults. For children, it’s a lot more complicated and requires a separate post.

Adults, this is the voice of experience. You CAN find a way and you are worth it. Anyone who has told you or made you feel as though you must live with domestic abuse is WRONG, that you are less than is WRONG, that you deserve the stress you’re living in is WRONG. I don’t care how rich, educated, connected, famous, or “respected” they are. THEY WERE/ARE WRONG.

You can love them and forgive them down the road if you want or choose to, but for now, focus on the damage they cause and leave. You can take a minute to get your ducks in a row and be strategic in order to be safe. But the longer you stay, the harder it will be to follow through.

And if it requires reaching your boiling point to propel you out the door, temporarily ignore the first part of this post and get there quicker. Just be aware that not getting out the door is the real problem. Once you prioritize setting boundaries and leaving, you’ll be on the path to reducing baseline stress and lowering your boiling point. You’ll also be closer to finding a path to heal and keep it low.

When you live with a significant amount of baseline stress, it’s even more important to eat well, move, get outside, and get enough rest. Challenge yourself enough to feel a sense of accomplishment. Rest enough to feel renewal. Every health regimen includes these basics for a reason. They work.

And now, I must go out into the ridiculous heat that will RAISE MY STRESS! But I won’t stay long. Take care!

Preparation for Healing: What is Readiness?

I want to circle back to our exploration of the healing process with a simple question: How do you know if you’re ready to heal? Even if you recognize that readiness is crucial for healing to begin, how do you know if you’ve reached that point?

We all like to think we’re ready. Some of us are but think we can’t be because we haven’t done any deliberate prep work. Some of us have spent years preparing and still aren’t ready. I know that defies logic. The path to healing is not logical.

Clear, sound reasoning-a logical path-comes from the mind. Healing involves the whole being working in concert. Often, it is the disconnection of body, mind, and spirit that generates the need for healing in the first place.

What is readiness if not being prepared?
ready
Readiness is a state of willingness.

Duh, huh? I hate it when people say things like that. I never know what they really mean. To more clearly see how willingness relates to readiness to heal, try asking yourself the following questions:

Am I willing to stop avoiding?
Healing will sometimes mean feeling all of those emotions we work too much, sleep too much, drink too much, eat too much, watch TV too much, and medicate in order to avoid. Sometimes we are not willing to give those things up. If not, we are not ready to heal.

Am I willing to clearly state my intentions?
We have already explored the process of setting intentions. A willingness to set intentions is an indicator of readiness.

Am I willing to let go of expectations?
Staying married to the expectation of a certain outcome will hamper healing. Being willing to let expectations go shows a level of readiness.

Am I willing to trust my body?
You may not trust your body right now. That is okay. The real question is, are you willing to learn to trust it by exploring methods like somatic experiencing and mindfulness practices?

Am I willing to allow feelings to flow?
You may not be able to do this yet. If you have lived in danger, you may have had to suppress, disassociate, or hide your feelings in order to survive. It can take a long time to be able to feel and let the feelings flow. A willingness to try is all you need to get started.

Am I willing to stick with the process?
A healing journey can take you into territory that you may not immediately understand on a cognitive level. If you stick with the process, this will work itself out eventually. If you are not willing to stick with the process you can quickly get stuck in a cognitive loop. The mind cannot make this journey alone. Sometimes the body must lead.

Am I willing to stop muscling through?
It is possible to white knuckle your way through many things for a period of time, but that is not a sustainable method for change. Pushing yourself to confront your fears, for example, will have a different long term result than allowing fear to bubble up, acknowledging it, and sitting with it until it dissipates.

Am I willing to feel momentarily unsafe in order to ultimately feel more whole?
No one wants to feel unsafe, but we can all tolerate it in small doses as long as we are willing.

Am I willing to treat myself with respect and kindness?
Deep emotional and spiritual work can be as physically draining as lifting weights or running. Giving your body nutritional support, regular gentle exercise, plenty of sleep, and planned moments of beauty and pleasure are especially important for supporting the journey. A willingness to examine and revise self-talk when needed can boost your mood and energy level.

Am I willing to see what is?
This is a big thing. It sounds so easy. I’m in touch with reality. I’m sure you are too. Obviously, we see what is, right? Unfortunately, we may not. We all have blind spots and a great capacity for denial. If you come from a destructive, dysregulated, or dysfunctional family, seeing things as they actually are can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

It is painful to see your mother’s repeated and prolonged cruelty toward you for what it is – cruel, unloving behavior. You just want her to love you. You will bend yourself into any shape, do anything, make any excuse that allows you to believe that she does…or will someday.

It feels impossible to reconcile your husband’s verbal abuse with the fact that he says he loves you. It’s easier to morph what you’re hearing into a scolding you must need and deserve.

The sadness of neglect might simply consume you if you didn’t develop the ability to weave imaginary connections.

We learn early how to cushion ourselves from the harshest of realities. A willingness to release ourselves from the skills we developed for protection is part of the healing process. Because we internalize both the wounds from other’s destructive behavior and the skills we use to survive, releasing ourselves from these can feel like we’re losing ourselves and our story. We may experience grief, loss, uncertainty, and unbridled terror.

While we may know we are also releasing the things that prevent us from fully becoming our best selves, there will be moments in which it is difficult to hold that thought in our minds. When the lower brain is triggered to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn, we cannot force our way out of that state (over time we can change our relationship with the trigger points and hopefully reintegrate traumatic memories). If it were as simple as thinking our way out of this spot, no one would suffer from PTSD or complex PTSD.

Seeing what is may also mean seeing ourselves differently. Recognizing our blind spots and our contributions to dysfunction when we’re already feeling vulnerable is asking a lot.

Again, seeing what is is a BIG thing. It is not easy. You may feel more willing to explore this when you remember that on some level you already know anything you are becoming willing to see. This idea could be restated as a willingness to know what you know. You know how your mother’s cruelty feels. You know how your husband’s abuse affects your self-confidence. You know the ache of feeling invisible.

You may only recognize these things on a subconscious level. They must move to your conscious awareness for you to see them. Conscious awareness brings the feelings to the surface where you can make a decision regarding your response. This is how you will shift from the feeling position of a wounded victim to the feeling position of a powerful self-advocate. This is how you gain or regain yourself!

Am I willing to face any relationship consequences that may occur?
Once you see what is, you will have the opportunity to reevaluate your relationships. Some will be toxic and need to end. Some will need to be minimized. Some will morph into deeper, more supportive levels of love and concern. Being willing to let relationships evolve will allow you to find support for healing.

Am I willing to let go of the payoff I get from dysfunction?
Once we see what is, we may discover that we rely on unhealthy behavior to gain attention, feel supported and loved, solicit assistance, advance at work, or control our family environment. When we give up the unhealthy behavior, we will also give up the payoff.

Willingness does not require mastery of any skill. It does not require a certain level of understanding. It is not a declaration that you’ll do any particular thing. It is not an obligation or a timeline. Willingness is simply a state of being open to exploring whatever may come as you allow yourself to shift and heal. If you are willing, you are ready.

http://www.cooking2thrive.com/blog/preparation-for-healing-managing-expectations-begins-with-setting-clear-intentions/

http://www.cooking2thrive.com/blog/preparation-healing-manage-expectations/

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