If something is normal it’s nothing to worry about, but what is normal?
It seems experiencing dark during the middle of the day has me thinking about normalcy more than usual. I feel like the idea of what falls within the normal range has narrowed through my lifetime increasing the list of things that fall outside the lines.
Whether that’s true, or just my perception is impossible to determine. Everything’s subjective. Sometimes things that feel normal to me may feel totally foreign to you.
But things that fall outside the normal range are worrisome. It’s possible that a narrower view of what’s normal is causing tiny variances to seem bigger than they did before. Some may even feel catastrophic. We certainly seem increasingly anxious and fearful.
On the flip side, we have normalized behavior that was previously considered improper and abnormal. Some of it crosses the line into cruelty or violence. That leads to fear and anxiety as well.
We find ourselves in a world that changed swiftly because of a pandemic. Nothing has really felt normal since it began. You could say, so what? Things change. That’s true. They do. But normal or not, why is it so hard to feel grounded, peaceful, and calm?
First, there’s the noise in general. It’s difficult and time consuming to vet every piece of information that crosses your path.
Secondly, we’re being misled. Sources like the WHO and CDC have proven themselves less than trustworthy sources of solid science-based recommendations. No matter your philosophy, this creates distrust.
Third, politicians are making use of grievance politics. This appeals to the worst in each of us. We all have a beef with someone, sometime. Fueling grievances leads to anger and division rather than cooperation and consensus.
Fourth, we aren’t well grounded in history and view the world in an egocentric way. Everything is much bigger than any one of us.
Fifth, we’ve let the measure of success narrow to the matter of money. Integrity, service, productivity, innovation, and beauty have taken a step back in value. It also tempts people to take advantage in order to achieve monetary success.
Carving a path of normality when surrounded by chaos and division is hard. It can be traumatic. It requires curiosity, fortitude, and conviction. But if you can shut out enough noise, you will know in your core when something feels right. As long as that path leads to your best self, follow it and forget these myths:
Normal means always happy. In “Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole,” Susan Cain posits that we miss out on beauty, wonder, and compassion when we avoid sadness, sorrow, and longing. It takes effort to resist societal pressure to only embrace positivity, but perpetual positivity may not be normal.
Depression is something to fear. Long ago, I read “The Secret Strength of Depression.” One point it makes is that depression is a normal response to change. It’s not the only response, but it’s part of adjusting from the old to the new. As such a response, it should be temporary, but it isn’t always clinical, chronic, or dire. In fact, at times it is a normal state.
You can medicate your way out of everything. Medication is one option for treating illness or pain. It is not always the most effective long-term solution.
Will anything feel normal again? I don’t know. But you can feel more grounded, peaceful, and calm if you follow a path that you know in your core is in tune with your values.
