swim – in thriver words

Mindfulness pshaw. Forget Mindfulness! What I need is a little MindLESSness!

Don’t get me wrong, my life is filled with mindful practices and I believe they’re important. I practice yoga 3 or 4 times a week. I may squeeze in a guided meditation. And, I’m immersed in a Daring Way class where I’m learning to practice empathy that includes mindfulness. There’s nothing WRONG with mindfulness. In fact, sitting in the moment and being present has led me to recognize that I am worn out!

I need to turn my mind off temporarily. I don’t want to consider anything. I don’t want to answer a text, send an email, or read any research. I don’t want to cook a meal, test a recipe, or review any video. I don’t want to pay a bill, wash a dish, or plan anything! And I know I don’t have the emotional energy to listen with empathy to someone who is making my life more difficult. I just don’t have it in me.
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I want to lie in the sun, feel it’s warmth and ENJOY it rather than feeling like I need to dig up tulip bulbs from my yard while the soil is soft. I want to float in the pool and feel nothing but the softness of the water as it supports me. I want to savor my coffee in the morning and eat chocolate at leisure with some wine at night. I want to laugh at everything silly, jump in a pile of warm laundry, take a nap at 10am, find a new show to binge watch, or read a page turner.

Feeling carefree may not be achievable, but it’s a good goal.

It takes a lot for me to feel overloaded, but if there’s never any relief — no full day off, no carefree moments, not enough laughter, no one to depend on to pick up the ball when I drop it, I can get to a point where I’m constantly poised for the straw that may break me. It’s easy to say, set better boundaries so you don’t get overtaxed, but difficult to practice if you’re a caregiver, sole provider and parent, sole proprietor, or just financially strapped.

For me, it’s better to recognize and accept that I may not be up to any greater challenge than lying on the couch than to numb my feelings with food or alcohol, to lash out in anger, or to turn in a half-assed performance at work.

Is it difficult for me to admit this? YES!!!! I am driven to achieve, solve problems, and fix things.
It’s really hard to admit I may not be up to the task. While I know this is temporary, it feels huge and frightening!

It’s worth remembering that down time often provides powerful insight. It’s easy to think of doing nothing as time wasted, but that’s selling it short. Putting my mind in neutral allows it to travel paths it would otherwise miss.

I just talked to a friend on the phone who asked what I was writing. When I told him, he said, obviously taken aback, “That’s what you’re writing!?” I could tell he thought the decision was risky. But I know I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who feels this way, and maybe, just maybe, you need to know that because you need some mindlessness too.

So, if you’re in my boat, let’s just let it float with the current. We’ll be able to get back to shore when we need to. I’m certain of it.

http://thedaringway.com/

The best way to start a gluten-free diet? Just jump in!

Earlier this week, I went canoeing with Ben and James and his girlfriend. The threat of storms made everyone with good common sense stay off the river. I guess as a collective, we defy common sense more than we’d like to admit. Of course, sometimes we’re rewarded for our defiance and this float turned out to be one of those times.

The day was perfect. It was 80º; the water was warm enough to swim and just deep enough to avoid having to carry the canoes through the rapids. As always, the deep pools were a green that borders on blue. Turtles sunned themselves on rocks and logs skittering away as the boat neared them. Best of all, we had it all to ourselves.

I spent the first part of the trip in the driver’s seat. When you’re the driver, you must either go faster or slower than the water in order to have control of the canoe’s direction, otherwise, the current is in charge. Sometimes the current flows under trees and into rocks. At those times, control becomes important for keeping the canoe, its occupants, and its contents safe.

Down river we came to a short bluff. Ben decided he really needed to climb the bluff and jump in the river. First we scouted the depth of the water and the rock formations below to make sure he had plenty of clearance. Then we beached the canoe and yelled for James to beach his and bring the camera. Soon the jumping began.

Occasionally the countdown was, “One, two, three.” Other times, “One, two, scream!” Either way, the launch was quick and the destination predetermined. Sailing away from the rock required courage, surrender, and an uncertain landing.

I know it’s trite to use a river as a metaphor for life, but all day long I couldn’t help but see it that way – it feels best if you go with the flow but sometimes the flow will bash you against the rocks if you don’t use your will to change direction. If the water’s too cold or the bank too high, the best way in is to scream and jump. Once you’re in the water, you’ll figure out whether to let the water carry you downstream to a shallow spot or swim against the current to reach the nearest beach.

And so it is with adopting a gluten-free lifestyle. I get lots of questions about how to get started. I usually advise commitment for a year, supply a list of foods to avoid and a shopping list of items to purchase. I show clients how to read labels and order in a restaurant. All of these steps are helpful, but the truth is the best thing you can do is just jump in and follow the river. Float when you can, paddle when you have to, and be sure to see the beauty of the journey.

We’ll be here to hold your hand for the countdown – scream all you want to!