We all know we need personal space to feel comfortable, but how often do we think about the space we take up in society? Watching the Olympics this year, I’m struck by how much broadcast time has been spent featuring nonathlete celebrities.
Movie stars, TV stars, stadium-filling musicians, pro athletes, influencers, YouTubers, and TikTokers take up an increasing amount of space in our everyday experience. It can make us question how we fit into the puzzle. What if we only have 25 followers and get no likes?
How do we know if we’re filling the space we’re meant to fill in the world?
Let me begin with, I don’t know the answer. As grounded as I like to think I am, this question perplexes me. Filling any space we occupy with character, integrity, reliability, hard work, dedication, humor, kindness, thoughtfulness, affection, and love felt sufficient before the invasion of the internet. From that beginning point, I could have large or small goals and still be satisfied with my life.
I heard the same message we give children now – you can be anything you want to be. But it feels like something has shifted in how we view significance. That makes me question how hard to push, how much to invest, what to fight for, and when to be satisfied.
I don’t think I’m alone. Some of the reminders to enjoy the process are based on a need to feel satisfied in a world in which it seems increasingly impossible to come out on top because not everyone will be famous.
I mean, the athletes at the Olympics are superior in their field. And yet, their airtime at an event specifically to showcase their talent and training is being co-opted by people who are just there to watch.
It is hard to find your footing when your best qualities seem invisible, or worse, are dismissed as unimportant. How do you feel significant if the primary examples of significance revolve around fame?
How do you learn you’re important when your parent is engrossed in a screen while you’re dancing your legs off to get their attention?
How do you develop a sense that you can make a difference when no one appreciates the person who makes a difference for you?
How can you learn who you really are if you’re busy chasing the legitimacy gained by fame or fortune? And how can you know what you’re capable of if you rely on a husband or children to provide significance? (I am not against marriage or children. There are significant contributions to be made by being a supportive partner and parent – perhaps the most significant. I’m specifically referring to relying on a role or title in place of mindful exploration of your gifts, abilities, and values.)
Is it important to be the best or to do your best?
How do you measure when to fight and when to quit?
What do you consider significant?
What makes you feel fulfilled?
What contribution can you make?
These aren’t questions of the moment. They’re age old. But our current fishbowl is larger, visible to more people, has swift waves, and distorts reality. The space in which we live has changed.
How do we change accordingly to define the personal space we hope to occupy?
Today, I’m just going to leave you with questions. You’re living the answers you’ve come up with so far. Periodically exploring options can lead to another level of mindfulness regarding the space we occupy, greater satisfaction we have landed where we intended, or the discovery that we have far exceeded our previous goals. Questions are always worth asking.