Is it possible to moderate language for better health? It’s not uncommon to see health advice that includes calls for moderation in the consumption of alcohol, fatty foods, sodium, or sugar. Those aren’t bad ideas. But I’m wondering whether changing our words might also be effective?
We are in an era of extremes. We may recognize that politically. But the need for clicks and likes has also ratcheted up our language in other areas.
In a quick scroll of YouTube thumbnails, I see the following: soars, shambles, freaked out, rarest, destroyed, disaster, meltdown, smack down, fatal, insane, panic, trouble ahead, going crazy, worst nightmare, stunning revelation, bombshell, perfect storm. These are not words of moderation. And many times, they lead to something unspectacular and undeserving of extreme language.
I’ve also seen self-talk morph. Instead of “oops, my bad,” some have moved to “I hate myself” or worse when responding to an initiating act that from the outside looks like a minor boo-boo.
And we’ve escalated the words we use to describe our response to average situations. The other day, I heard a middle-aged parent talk about how scary it was when his child got a tick.
Now I’m no tick fan, and I have a desire to avoid tick-borne disease. Still, I can’t remember ever feeling “scared” when seeing a tick on my child. We calmly removed them and took note should some problem appear later. I’m left wondering whether the parent really felt scared, or has just become accustomed to using extreme language?
The escalation of catastrophic language can’t be good. If we are constantly verbally escalating the minor into the major, we run the risk of raising our blood pressure, interrupting our concentration, making extreme decisions, alarming others, mischaracterizing others, and feeling hopeless. We may flood our systems with cortisol affecting multiple organs. We may hear a minor diagnosis and believe we have major disease.
The bottom line is, when we view everything in the extreme, we lose perspective. And when we lose perspective, we may feel more threatened, anxious, alone, or depressed. We may try to remedy that by channeling it into anger toward ourselves or others.
All of this can lead from anger to rage, from coping to quitting, from problem solving to feeling helpless, from shame to self-loathing. These are not the progressions that lead to better health, either physical or mental.
Viewing our own behavior with curiosity can help us identify areas in which our rhetoric no longer contains nuance. It can help us see ways in which we judge ourselves or others against an increasingly raised bar or fail to grant grace when we fail.
It can also be helpful to separate our behavior from our essence in our self-talk. I make mistakes, not I am a mistake. I hate it when that happens, not I hate myself. Next time I will _______ rather than I suck. I could have handled that better rather than it was my fault (especially when contributing factors were out of your control). Well, I learned _________ rather than how could I be so stupid?
A tick bite is rarely catastrophic. Misspeaking in public does not mean you’re stupid. Being rejected does not mean you’re unlovable. Being dismissed doesn’t mean your ideas are fatally bad or someone’s worst nightmare. This is the escalated language of clickbait.
The good news is that moderating our language is within our control. Choosing our media influences is within our control. Where we spend much of our time, and with whom, is in our control. When we make different choices, we can regain perspective.
Choosing more moderate language can go a long way toward a healthier view of ourselves and our environment. A healthier view can assist in making beneficial health decisions. And an overall de-escalation will benefit us physically.
So, I guess I should say, let’s get out there and be less extreme!
