In many professions and life in general, knowing when to stop is a critical skill. It’s true in performance art, poetry, piloting, sports, storytelling, cooking, and healthcare. Often, there’s no clearcut stopping point.
Some like their steak rare. Some like it well done. Some think an athlete should retire. Some think he should keep playing. Some like the length of a movie. Some think it’s an hour too long. Stopping points are often a matter of opinion.
Even a healthy lifestyle requires knowing when to stop. You can lift weights that are too heavy, eliminate too many carbs, garden too long when it’s hot, or play tennis on knees that cannot sustain the quick stops and turns without injury.
So how do you know when to stop?
Consult experts. Leave the AI bots alone. Find a subject matter expert. The more highly skilled, trained, and experienced, the better. Under Twitter’s previous ownership (yes, I know its current name), the platform was a great resource for finding the best in a field all over the world. It still took some vetting, but access was easy. Finding those same experts now can be more difficult.
That’s unfortunate because the most readily available source isn’t always the most reliable or best informed. But if you find one expert you trust, see who they trust. You can slowly build a network of knowledge that will help you build your own.
Read differing opinions on matters. Just because someone has a different view, doesn’t mean they have nothing helpful to offer. Greater understanding and deeper knowledge lead to better informed decisions.
Consult colleagues. Writers often depend on other writers to help them develop the best approach and stopping point to deliver a satisfying ending to the reader. Critique partners are considered a necessity for reviewing manuscripts. A critique partner may or may not have more experience than the writer, but they inherently understand whether something feels upbeat, sad, uncomfortable, rushed, or unfinished.
Researchers receive input from teams of reviewers before grants are funded. These colleagues and community members sometimes note that a study seems too narrow or too broad to accomplish its stated objectives within the time frame allotted.
The medical community develops policies, procedures, and standards of care to help guide practicing physicians regarding the length of treatment regimens. These evolve as knowledge is gained over time. That means the stopping point of yesterday may not be the stopping point of tomorrow.
Consult trusted friends and family. Even within friendly circles, not all advice will seem right to you. It’s still good to hear differing opinions especially when they come from someone you trust to have your best interest at heart. You can discard anything that doesn’t fit.
Compare all the advice to what your gut tells you. Fear, or the desire to please will sometimes interfere with a clear signal as to which stopping point feels right. When I can’t get a bead on that, I review my intentions. Sometimes that’s enough for me to clearly know what feels right. Other times, an option I dismissed will nag at me until I stop and fully explore it.
Give yourself a minute. Sometimes, we have to digest a little more information or process through a whirlpool of feelings before we can see an ending clearly. Walking away for a moment may be all that’s standing between us and the perfect stopping point.
Choose a next step. Even if you don’t feel comfortable choosing a stopping point, you may know a good next step. Take it.
Trust yourself. We can often feel other people’s response through their tone or body language, but they aren’t always responding specifically to us or our work. They come to the situation through the lens of their experience and points of reference. They may not truly understand our point-of-view.
No matter what, all choices ultimately come back to us. The best decisions are the ones we’re willing to own (even if we rethink them later). There is a sense of power that comes with self-determination. Whether or not you believe you’re good at knowing when to stop, taking stock and making a decision will let you feel in charge of your life or your work.
As things go in the real world, there won’t often be a hard, fast answer for knowing when to stop. Sometimes, we just have to gather information and draw the line in a place that feels right.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”