Category: Uncategorized

Just Another Monday

Do you feel excited about this week or is it just another Monday? Honestly, I’m asking myself this question. I should feel excited. After five years of settling family estates, I have no more paperwork left! I could feel excited. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the temperature is pleasant. But do I feel excited? Not really.

I’m not depressed. I’m making progress on numerous work fronts. I have a long list of things I look forward to. But everything is tempered by an underlying sense of sadness and loss.

Without context, such a statement seems to automatically trigger speculation about my mental health. Stop it, already. I just happened to fail to mention some recent losses. Feeling a sense of sadness and loss in response to loss is normal, not bad.

Feeling a sense of fear or anxiety in response to real world risk can be perfectly normal and yep, healthy. And we are experiencing a time of increased disappointment, risk, and loss.

Feeling some way besides positive about the state of things may not be any sort of indication of anything other than being well-adjusted. It could signal a person who is well-grounded, courageous, empathetic, and resilient.

But we seem to have adopted the general view that any emotional struggle is a sign of mental illness. We characterize a victim’s response to trauma as a personal flaw or weakness. Think of the language surrounding Simone Biles’ decision to withdraw from team competition at the Tokyo Olympics or Naomi Osaka’s refusal to speak to journalists at the French Open.

For both of them, choosing self-care became characterized as dealing with mental health issues. Okay, yeees technically any decision made to benefit one’s mental health is a decision based on a mental health issue. But the connotation of the language as it is commonly used is not technical. It’s most often othering, condemning, or dismissive.

It’s not particularly surprising that a culture that works, consumes, busies, and drinks itself into avoidance on the regular would look away when things get uncomfortable. It is frustrating that in the year since I last broached this subject, I haven’t seen any sort of shift toward self-awareness or a change in the conversation, just more lip service about removing the stigma.

That stigma supports a Us vs Them, Me vs You divide. We have created and reinforced many such divides the past few years. They may make us feel more secure or superior for a moment, but they are not serving society well.

How do we remove the stigma?

  • Stop automatically referring to every “negative” emotion as a mental health issue that indicates mental illness.
  • Avoid using the term mental illness. Specific diagnoses exist. Use those when appropriate.
  • Stop diagnosing unless you have the proper qualifications and have been chosen as a healthcare provider.
  • Stop characterizing emotions as good or bad, positive or negative.
  • When speaking of a victim who is experiencing a response to trauma (past or current), speak of their wound or their experience of trauma or loss. For example, Simone Biles chose to care for herself after the public discussion of her trauma at the hands of Dr. Larry Nassar. This type of statement correctly places responsibility on the perpetrator who inflicted, or situation that resulted in, a wound.
  • Acknowledge that life is difficult and we all struggle at times. If you haven’t experienced difficulty yet, you will. Stop posturing as though you’re different. Emotional adjustments are necessary for every single one of us.
  • Actively listen. Do not turn away when another’s pain makes you uncomfortable.
  • Allow children to feel and express a full range of emotion without judging the emotions themselves. Guide them to choose appropriate behaviors in response to emotions.
  • Create work environments that are non-punitive, balanced, and allow for self-care.
  • Only share observations or opinions after careful self-reflection.

Using any sort of health condition or discussion to subdue or victimize people is inappropriate. Using “mental health issues” to diminish, subdue, manipulate, or victimize people seems even worse.

Perhaps it’s not just another Monday. Perhaps it’s time to rethink discussions about mental health.

Poor Mental Health or A Normal Response?

The Problem With Distraction When Shopping Online

The pound of turmeric root in my house is evidence of the problem with distraction. Online shopping may be convenient and provide safety in moments of high viral transmission but before you determine it’s a great time saver because you can do it while paying attention to something else, you may want to think again.

In fact, I’m tired of delivery services flashing the number of hours I supposedly saved by shopping online. I may not have spent time driving to and from the store, but locating items, reading ingredients, comparing prices, and carefully examining each piece of an item’s description takes time. Lots of time.

Over and over, I become aware that either I didn’t spend enough time or was clearly distracted when shopping. I end up with one carrot when I wanted a pound and a pound of turmeric when I needed one root. I pay $13 for a tiny piece of steak or a pork tenderloin so tiny a large pork chop would eclipse it. I’ve peered into the grocery bag to find 2 cookies instead of the bag I thought I ordered.

And it doesn’t stop with food. I’ve gotten dinosaurs as small as my thumb and puzzles the size of a coaster. Is it my fault? Yes! I’m distracted. I’m multitasking. Or I’m weary from repeated searches, so I watch TV while I shop.

Allowing myself to be distracted is my fault. It’s also true that photos sometimes make an item appear larger or smaller than it is. If I add the time it takes to read the fine print, I’m not sure I can say online shopping saves time at all. That’s okay. Saving time is not my primary motivation for shopping online.

While it may not be perfect, I see subscription options and online shopping as my major mode of purchase from now on. It had become my primary method of shopping prior to 2020.

Now there’s even more incentive:

  • My shopping cart can double as a shopping list.
  • Searches for a particular product can lead to learning about things I never imagined I’d need.
  • I can buy from stores that will never have a physical location near me.
  • I can take advantage of subscription services for regular items.
  • I can leave dressing rooms behind.
  • I can often shop direct from a brand website without the need for a distributor.
  • The weather doesn’t affect my ability to shop.
  • I don’t have to wrestle kids into the car when I have my grandchildren.
  • I can shop 24/7 from stores that are only open 9 – 5.
  • I can reduce impulse purchases by leaving items in a cart overnight.
  • I’m more likely to have a source for items when there are shortages.
  • There’s no hunting for parking.
  • And in my increasingly dangerous city (ranked in the top 10 in the US), I have more options to increase safety.

So even though I’ve had a few failures, I’m still a fan of online shopping. I simply have to learn to keep my eye on the prize or end up with odd recipes and multiple returns. That’s the problem with distraction when shopping online.

Grocery Delivery Update

Anything in Moderation?

I’m wondering whether the US knows how to do anything in moderation. I’ve temporarily relocated to an RV where I’ll be living for a couple of months. As with all tiny house living, my 100 sq ft of living area mean space is critical.

My cabinets are plentiful, and I have a large closet, but I still have to think carefully about what I purchase. This morning, I placed my first grocery order and realized it’s next to impossible to get containers of condiments, dishwashing soap, and butter in the amounts I need them. Travel size is a bit too small for my length of stay, and regular sizes are waaaay too big.

This time, I was shopping at an average chain supermarket where I expect to find a variety of brands and all the basics. If I had chosen a wholesale club, the packaging would be even larger. I could have picked a specialty market with expensive brands in smaller containers, but then I’d have to pay more for everything or shop at multiple stores.

It seems crazy to me that we can have acres and acres of ground covered by supermarkets and lack right size options in popular brands that reduce waste and require less cabinet space. I understand the efficiency and economy of buying more, but if that creates waste on the back end, those are diminished.

I don’t know why this surprises me. We are a culture of excess living in an era of increase.

Following an energy crisis in the 1970s, we didn’t abandon the SUV or ever larger pickup trucks, we shook off our initial panic and filled the roads with them.

Over the past 20 years, our bagels have grown from 3 inches to 6 inches and 140 calories to 350 calories. Even turkey sandwiches have doubled in calories.

The average American employee spends more hours at work than workers in Japan, the UK, and Germany at an average of 37.5 hours per week. And that average is lower than the hours put in by many of my acquaintances for whom a 60-hour work week is not uncommon.

It has become a sign of good parenting for children to be enrolled in multiple organized extracurricular activities. Without moderation, this leaves little time for sitting still, experiencing the wonder of a sunset, or lying in the grass watching the clouds.

And we don’t just purchase larger grocery items. Our closets are filled. My grandmother had two or three Sunday dresses, one pair of pants for lawn and garden work, and a couple of casual dresses. She didn’t own 5 pairs of shoes, much less 15. I packed more clothes in my RV than my grandmother owned, and it is a tiny fraction of what I have.

I even have two TVs. TWO in just over 100 sq. ft. I wouldn’t call that moderation. And I haven’t even turned them on. Clearly, I don’t need one, much less two. And yet, the multiples are considered a selling point.

The more I look around, the more I observe excess. And it has momentum. There’s a push toward more, longer, faster, bigger. Minimalism pushes back but is not winning the culture war in the US.

Surrounding ourselves by excess, doesn’t seem to make us more content. It just leaves me wondering why we don’t do anything in moderation.

https://www.cooking2thrive.com/blog/my-efficiency-is-killing-me-or-the-importance-of-balance/

A Little Dab Will Do It

A little dab will do it when you’re taking a dish from good to great! A few years ago, I was talking to a chef who remarked, “I taste things all the time that are good, but if they just added a spoonful of honey, would be great! I just don’t understand why they don’t add that one little thing that would take the dish to the next level.”

I think of this often when I’m testing recipes. Last week, I created a gluten-free, dairy-free lasagna. Unlike many recipes, this first try was remarkably good. I sent some out to tasters. They voted it a keeper.

But as the week wore on, and I tasted it cold, then hot again, I was nagged by the vague feeling that something was missing. It took me a moment (by which I mean days) to determine what.

Nutmeg. I hadn’t thought to grate in a little nutmeg. Once I realized I wanted that flavor addition, I was surprised. I’ve eaten plenty a lasagna wondering why anyone bothered to add nutmeg. Now, I guess I know. The flavors just call for a little dab of it.

I had a similar experience recently in which I created a dish that was nicely balanced and tasty but was missing a standout flavor. I thought of serving it with pico de gallo, but then decided liberally garnishing with cilantro would work better.

I tried it and it was better. That bright pop of flavor worked well, but it still wasn’t quite right. My tasters tried soy sauce, Cavender’s® All Purpose Greek Seasoning*, Tony Chachere’s® Creole Seasoning, and Goyo® Adobo All Purpose Seasoning with Saffron. We also discussed cardamom, turmeric, and orange juice.

Finally, I decided to add another dab of a seasoning blend that was already in the dish – a combination of salt, pepper, garlic, lemon peel, and onion. That did the trick. That 1/2 tsp changed an okay dish to one that left you wanting more.

And you don’t even have to taste a dish to know it needs something. Sometimes all you need to do is stand over the pot and breathe in the aroma. You can smell when something needs salt, or garlic, a savory undertone, or a citrusy top note.

Adding a little dab at a time gives you the opportunity to add more if needed. It’s much easier to add than to dilute, so I like to start small. I say that. I’ve been known to liberally shake spices over a pan before smelling or tasting. Usually, I’m happy with the result, but I’ve overdone it a time or two.

And it’s possible to add a little bit of too many flavors. The first example that comes to mind is gin, specifically Monkey 47. I find the 47 different botanicals less than pleasing (give me Hendrick’s® any day). But the same thing happens with food. Too many flavors can send your taste buds scrambling to decipher what they’re experiencing. That can overshadow the pleasure of cohesive flavor.

Sometimes I like to pretend it doesn’t matter I left out a 1/4 tsp of something or other. But it does. It may not mean the food is inedible, but that little dab does make a difference. It may even be the thing that makes a dish great!

*The Cavenders were customers of my parent’s business. We gave jars of this spice blend as gifts to family and friends for years before it was widely distributed. It was a hit every time!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”