Five Ground Rules for Using Distractions Effectively
Stomach hurt? Hit your finger with a hammer. Your stomach may still hurt, but you won’t notice it anymore! (You know I’m right if you’ve ever stubbed your little toe on the couch!) Should you discover afterward the cure is worse than the disease, well, you learned something.
I’ve seen this pain management technique used in movies, but I don’t know anyone brave enough to purposely hit their hand hard with a hammer. On the other hand, I know plenty of people who use other forms of distraction that are dangerous: drinking & driving, drinking & shooting, having unprotected sex with strangers, driving aggressively, and gambling.
While the risk is always there, only occasionally does such distraction lead to tragedy. That means such behavior goes mostly unchecked until someone gets a DUI or ends up in bankruptcy and people begin to take notice.
Right now, with the pandemic, unjust law enforcement, and economic hardship, there’s plenty of pain and loss to go around. Everyone is trying to figure out ways to cope. This makes me wonder…
Is it always bad to use distraction to relieve physical or psychic pain?
Obviously, nothing is all good or all bad per se and there’s not an absolute answer to this question. For example, drinking, gambling, and drug use bring significantly more risk for those struggling with addiction than for those who are not. Drinking and driving on the other hand is a risky combination for everyone. Drinking and shooting are never the best mix, but one beer and a round of sporting clays won’t raise any special alarms for me. And there are distractions like enjoyable work and creative hobbies that don’t pose danger.
While I’m musing about this, I’d say my ultimate intention is to heal physical and/or psychic pain as fully as possible and thereby eliminate the need for pain-relieving distractions. With that said, I realize healing is a process that is sometimes lengthy. Distractions may be a useful technique for functioning in the interim.
Here are five ground rules for using distractions effectively:
Acknowledge the source of underlying pain. If you do not start here, distractions will hinder healing.
Make a deliberate choice to include distraction as a way to manage underlying pain.
Choose distractions that add meaning and value to your life or the lives of others. Volunteer work, political activism, gardening, flower arranging, performing music, reading, writing, painting, sculpting, building, and cooking are all examples of valuable distractions.
Choose distractions that require you to be your best self. Putting your best qualities on display and receiving positive feedback will feed your spirit.
Seek balance. There are times that it is more important to focus on a problem than to be distracted from it. Finding a balance between focus and distraction will put you in the best position to pivot when needed.
Some pain is unavoidable. It will come in waves from nature, from others, and from ourselves. Without balance, pain can become all-consuming.
Carefully chosen distractions are helpful for mitigating pain and shifting focus. I use them on a regular basis. I do so judiciously, recognizing that distractions can become all-consuming as well.
That doesn’t mean I only choose highbrow distractions. Sometimes I binge watch. Sometimes I read the TMZ website. I check @ass_Deans tweets. I build something with the grandkid’s blocks. I take off my shoes and focus on how my feet feel walking through the grass.
Using distractions well means I can shift easily. Being able to shift gives me freedom to make choices rather than be stuck and frozen. Playful distractions are my favorite, but mostly I try to stay away from extremes like hitting my finger with a hammer to make my stomach stop hurting.
