For those of you who are tempted to fudge a little here and there, I recently asked myself this question–Was a recent holiday indulgence worth it?
After 9 months of strict adherence to the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, Thanksgiving arrived. I cooked sweet potato pie, corn casserole, cornbread dressing (stuffing if you prefer), an amazing sweet potato and squash soup, and gluten-free macaroni and cheese for my extended family. While I cooked, I tasted. At the dinner table, I tasted. For a couple of days afterward, there were leftovers in the fridge that…I tasted. Now mind you, a taste isn’t a serving. It’s just a couple of spoons full, and I never tasted anything containing harmful gluten.
Then came the cold December afternoon when I returned to my office ready for an afternoon snack. No, not just ready…I felt like I was starving. While I was out of the office, the most beautiful, red holiday basket had arrived. Sporting a huge bow and from the most exclusive flower shop in town, it was filled with chocolate chip, key lime, and iced spice cookies, party mix, candy, and one gluten-free item – a tin full of dark chocolate hazelnut toffee. Not more than 5 seconds after I finished reading the label, I ripped off the plastic seal and popped open that tin.
After all, I was starving and there were huge hazelnuts embedded in the toffee. I broke the toffee away from a nut and popped it in my mouth. After all nuts are allowed on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. Still hungry, I continued. The third nut I peeled had a tiny bit of candy still attached. Chocolate, caramel tasting sugar – YUM! I didn’t try nearly as hard to remove all the candy from the fourth nut…or the 5th, 6th, or 7th. After all, it was only sugar (not gluten) AND I had been strictly following the SCD, perhaps I was ready to reintroduce some items into my diet. This justification worked so well for me that I used it again the next day when I pulled the lid off the tin.
Then came Christmas lunch. May as well try the scalloped potatoes, and then finish off the toffee.
Four days later I have two New Year’s parties to attend and I am doubled over in pain or I would be if I weren’t talking to the repairman who’s here to fix the alarm. I can’t believe I used to work like this all the time. It feels like someone detonated a bomb below and to the right of my belly button. I’m contemplating the minimum amount of time I can spend at each party because I’m afraid I may need to stick close to a bathroom. I plan to take a second dose of activated charcoal and hope for the best.
In the midst of this pain and anxiety, I hear the question nagging at the back of my brain: Was straying off the SCD worth it? Hmmm. The toffee was delectable, and the potatoes satisfied my longing for filling carbohydrates, but now I’m on track for what may be a lengthy healing process. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Was it worth it?
YES. Yes, the transgression was worth it.
Ahhh yes, the transgression was worth it, but not in the hedonistic way you may think. It was worth it because the discomfort I am experienced reminded me in a very concrete way WHY I choose each moment of every day to adhere to an eating plan which allows my body to heal. Such discomfort also serves as a reminder of how difficult it used to be to focus and function before I went gluten-free. I feel amazed and proud of my progress.
And I feel proud of you for wanting to feel your best and for being willing to make choices that will keep you on the path of healing. To be tempted is to be human. Give yourself a break if you weren’t perfect last week, but don’t use yesterday’s mistake as an excuse to give up on yourself or to stop making good choices. Just use it as a reminder of WHY you choose to consume only foods that contribute to your optimum health.
Have a wonderful holiday season!
Cheri