I was ready for a clean start in 2024. As things would have it, the beginning is less than pristine. I spent the first week fighting a recurring sewer problem that left a backlog of cleaning, dishes, and laundry (seems there’s a pipe mystery under this 115-year-old house). Three days ago when a fix finally held, I hurt my foot. It’s worlds better today than yesterday but will take another day or two to successfully support my full weight.
The plan I had to get this year off to a strategic, efficient, relaxing start has been thwarted right off the bat. I don’t feel too daunted by that. Things rarely happen exactly as we plan them. If I become too attached to any plan, it will do nothing but make it more difficult to pivot.
I had a coworker once who stood in front of my desk and asked our production manager when one of his jobs would be ready so he could call his customer. Production carefully walked him through each step of the schedule. He then asked for delivery two days earlier than physically possible. Production said, no here’s the schedule and walked him through it again. He asked for delivery two days earlier.
This exact conversation was repeated five times in a row. At that point, I interrupted with, “David, it’s not going to be ready on the date you want it. Jerry has explained the process to you five times. It cannot happen any faster because it’s physically impossible. Call your customer and tell them that date is not an option.” My goal was not to get in the middle of the conversation. It was to get my coworkers off a treadmill that was going nowhere.
Life throws curve balls…lots of them. You know it. I know it. And our lack of sticking to New Year’s Resolutions is sometimes a result of it. Yes, it’s frustrating. Yes, it’s disappointing. Yes, a curve ball may lead to pain or loss. But the bottom line is, we can only choose from the options we have.
A clean start may have to be built on the shredded pieces of a previous plan. So how can we shake off the resulting frustrations?
Here are a few things that may be helpful:
Take a minute. Instead of acting as though we’re not affected by change, give yourself time and space to feel the pain, disappointment, weariness, anger, or sadness full force.
Set limits. If you have received difficult news, it’s easy to become lost in feelings. You may need quite some time to process through them. No matter what incites a revision in your plans, set limits for how long you will spend processing feelings at any given time. You can’t really schedule when feelings will hit. You can develop techniques for limiting how long you sit with them. These can be tailored around work, family, and personal responsibilities.
Let it go. Sometimes, you’ll resent the thing that changed your plan. It will be easier to let negative feelings go once you’ve allowed emotions to flow.
Focus on priorities. Forced change will be easier when you keep your priorities the same.
Do what you can. You may not be able to tackle everything, but you can take steps toward something. Put one foot in front of the other.
Ask for help. It can be especially hard for those perceived as strong to ask for help, but we all need it sometimes. Whether you need help processing feelings or with tasks that have landed in your lap, gather the resources you need. Needing help doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Embrace the good. Your day, week, or year may have changed on a dime, but here and there, you’ll see a beautiful sunset, feel a warm breeze, hear your toddler giggle, eat something delicious, or hear a song that makes you smile. Stop and enjoy these moments. Build a library of good feelings in your memory bank. You can reach for these when you need them.
Resist personalizing. Just because you are having a rough time does not mean you’ve done something wrong or that the universe is out to get you. Bad things happen to everyone. Good things happen to everyone. You can do everything right and still get a bad result.
Take a nap. Anything that puts your mind in neutral for a moment can help you reset, but most of us don’t get enough sleep so a nap may be especially helpful.
I’m typing this upstairs in my bed with my foot elevated rather than downstairs where I’d usually sit. This year may not be going as I envisioned, but I haven’t had more pain than I can stand. I have working showers and laundry. And I have easy to prepare food on hand.
This is a chance to slow down, pay attention, and get a clean start!
