{"id":99,"date":"2012-04-08T15:20:57","date_gmt":"2012-04-08T20:20:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/?p=99"},"modified":"2012-05-31T19:37:53","modified_gmt":"2012-06-01T00:37:53","slug":"how-can-change-begin-when-youre-struggling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/how-can-change-begin-when-youre-struggling\/","title":{"rendered":"How can change begin when you’re struggling?"},"content":{"rendered":"

First I started feeling frightened – a sort of antsy, anxious feeling at the edge of my awareness.\u00a0 I noticed that I felt hungry, but I wanted to be very disciplined about my meal times so I decided to wait awhile before eating.\u00a0 I passed the time by reading an article on anorexia (interesting choice don’t you think?) and looking at some photos of me that I had just uploaded to my laptop. \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0Soon after daylight savings times begins each year I have one of these days.\u00a0 I feel like my natural body rhythm is out of sync.\u00a0 Oh who am I kidding, I have days where I feel out of sync at least once a week, but I like to blame daylight savings time.\u00a0 Anyway, it was Saturday and I hadn’t made a plan for the day.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I found myself feeling hungry and dissatisfied with how I looked in the photos punctuated by a vague awareness that I may share some emotional characteristics with anorexics, plus I felt anxious and unproductive without a goal for the day.<\/p>\n

\u00a0How often do I feel this way? \u00a0Not often.\u00a0 But to ask how often and stop with that is to miss the point.\u00a0The reason I don’t often feel anxiously unproductive is that I manage that anxiety by preventing it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0A preventative approach?\u00a0 “That’s good, you say.\u00a0 How do you do it?”\u00a0 Now before you get ready to start making a list of what I do so you can do it, please read further. \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0I’m a pretty smart cookie and I can make even the most convoluted adaptation sound good – especially to me. Remember we’re talking about fear of change.\u00a0 So here’s my pattern:\u00a0 I fill each day with a To Do List no one could possibly complete.\u00a0 Once I’ve gotten through 75-80% of the list, I allow myself to feel okay about stopping from exhaustion.\u00a0 I also congratulate myself for being productive thereby making me more likely to repeat this pattern again and again.\u00a0 Don’t get me wrong, I get lots of outside affirmation for this pattern of behavior as well because I can handle massive amounts of work without blinking an eye.\u00a0 No one has ever called me lazy.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The pertinent question isn’t whether I’m productive or whether I’m well-adjusted to societal expectation.\u00a0 The real question is:\u00a0 Is this structure that I’ve created to keep me from feeling anxious also preventing me from being true to myself, experiencing joy, and connecting with people in a fulfilling way?\u00a0 In other words, is my self-protective system for anxiety prevention actually keeping me anxious and stuck along with preventing me from making change? \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0I know some of you will object to the idea that we willfully create structures of protection that we then become afraid to challenge.\u00a0 Your response may be to say that you know you use anger to protect yourself, but that’s what you learned growing up in an explosive family and while you may lead with anger, you’re never abusive like they were so what’s the big deal?\u00a0 Your response may be to feel way down deep that you ARE your persona of protection and it is YOU. To allow one thought of you without that persona attached may be to imagine that you will disappear, die, cease to exist, never have love, or be shunned.\u00a0 If this is the case, it will feel extremely important for you to prevent that thought from reaching your consciousness and you’ll be willing to use any means necessary to prevent such an occurrence.\u00a0 If that nagging thought should rear it’s ugly head in the back of your mind, you’ll reach for a distraction so fast you may not even realize what you’ve done.<\/p>\n

\u00a0It is often at this point that our relationship with food enters the picture.\u00a0 Some of us use food as a distraction from anxiety or discomfort.\u00a0 We immediately reach for a sweet treat to fool our brain with a sugar-induced euphoria.\u00a0 Some of us are aware that we need a distraction so we’ll go for a walk or go to the gym.\u00a0 Then we believe we deserve a reward or can afford a few extra calories, so we’ll eat an extra yeast roll with dinner.\u00a0 Some of us will add guilt to the formula.\u00a0 We feel guilty for eating the treat or rewarding ourselves. Then guilt feeds anxiety which sends us back into our protective structure where the surroundings feel familiar. \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0With all these complicated entanglements, our brains may immediately react to a suggested change in diet as if we are being threatened with death.\u00a0 According to Cynthia Kupper, Executive Director of the Gluten Intolerance Group, surveys of Celiac patients have shown that a high percentage of those diagnosed believe their Celiac diagnosis to be worse than a cancer diagnosis.\u00a0 In reality those patients are not facing surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, a need for dangerous medication, or immediate danger of losing their lives.\u00a0 It just feels that way.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Now let’s go back to that recent Saturday I was facing without a plan.\u00a0 Was it tempting to fall back into my normal pattern?\u00a0 Of course it was.\u00a0 But it seemed like the perfect day to explore a different possibility.\u00a0 I decided to change the question I constantly ask myself from what do I NEED to do today to what do I WANT to do today?<\/p>\n

\u00a0What did I want?\u00a0 I wanted to lessen my anxiety.\u00a0 I decided to begin by feeding myself since for me hunger works as an emotional trigger. I also know that when I am in the kitchen preparing food my brain settles down and that vague sense of hunger subsides so I decide that cooking is a good way to move into the day in a different way. I was wanting a really tasty cheese cracker to eat with the soup I had in the fridge, so I grabbed some cheddar cheese, some parmesan cheese, the almond flour and some butter.\u00a0 As I began to cook I felt myself relax.\u00a0 Forty-five minutes later, I\u00a0 plopped on the couch in front of some reality TV with a bowl of crackers beside me.\u00a0 Yum, the result of asking what I want was deliciously cheesy and crunchy.*<\/p>\n

\u00a0How did I feel?\u00a0 I had a much better outlook on the day.\u00a0 I felt less scared, more full, and like being more kind to myself for the rest of the day.\u00a0 I could have moped through the day annoyed and dragging my feet, as I have been known to do when I’m not willing to push myself down the To Do List,\u00a0 followed by feeling guilty on Sunday thus allowing myself to get right back to needing to prevent anxiety by overproducing. Instead, I began what turned out to be a relaxing, renewing weekend by asking myself a different question and being willing to follow where the answer led.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Big changes really are that simple. They can begin by simply stopping yourself from what you “normally” do.\u00a0 Knowing this may help you if you are struggling to remain gluten-free.\u00a0 Our brains trick us into thinking change is hard because we get stuck in the patterns we formed early on to protect us… and we’re scared… and scared feels dangerous.\u00a0 Always remember – big change is just lots of small changes added together and it’s okay to feel scared.\u00a0 Once you are willing to feel your fear long enough to do one thing differently, you will have discovered the secret to embracing change.\u00a0 Rest assured you will not lose yourself in the process, it just may feel that way for a brief moment as you begin to let go of old patterns of behavior.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The other thing you should know is that I was able to shift fairly quickly on that recent Saturday because I have spent several years preparing myself and learning how to be comfortable with, and let go of, those stories I tell myself that hold me back.\u00a0 And you will soon be able benefit from my experience so that you can have success with change in a much shorter period of time than I did!\u00a0 I have taken those years of experience and developed a set of emotional and social support tools to guide you along the way.\u00a0 They’re called the Cooking2Thrive\u00ae Essential Utensil Support Tools and they’ll soon be released for publication. Wouldn’t it be easier to take that first step toward change if you knew that there was a guide to prepare you for the next step and the next?\u00a0 That’s just what you get with the Essential Utensil Support Tools.\u00a0 Be the first to learn the secret to becoming your best, healthiest self without a struggle.\u00a0 Keep checking back here.\u00a0 We’ll let you know the minute they’re released and how you can get them! \u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Cheese<\/a>
Empire Waist Cheese Crackers<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

*My cheese crackers are now called Empire Waist Cheese Crackers and they’re fantastic!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First I started feeling frightened – a sort of antsy, anxious feeling at the edge of my awareness.\u00a0 I noticed that I felt hungry, but I wanted to be very disciplined about my meal times so I decided to wait awhile before eating.\u00a0 I passed the time by reading an article on anorexia (interesting choice … Continue reading “How can change begin when you’re struggling?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,12],"tags":[63,32,33,43,64,45,98,100,39,65,42,44,41,40,35,34,36,38,37],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":194,"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions\/194"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}