{"id":4399,"date":"2021-04-27T15:44:38","date_gmt":"2021-04-27T20:44:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/?p=4399"},"modified":"2021-04-27T15:44:40","modified_gmt":"2021-04-27T20:44:40","slug":"poor-mental-health-or-a-normal-response","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/poor-mental-health-or-a-normal-response\/","title":{"rendered":"Poor Mental Health or A Normal Response?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The past year has been, and continues to be, emotionally\nexhausting so how do you know if you\u2019re experiencing poor mental health or a\nnormal response? It\u2019s difficult to watch the news any given day without hearing\na story about increasing occurrences of poor mental health. Often, the slant of\nthe story is geared to support a particular policy objective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I find this rhetoric dangerous and unhelpful. It increases\nthe chance that we will begin to catastrophize normal responses that are, in\nfact, temporary and healthy. This is especially true if we are already isolated\nand lacking support. And it\u2019s hard to dismiss worry about our mental health\nwhen we\u2019re bombarded by emotionally taxing events one after the other: pandemic,\ninsurrection, natural disasters, infrastructure failures, police shootings, and\nmass murders. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We know we feel different. Many of us have never been through\nan extended period of disruption and trauma. If an expert appears in front of\nus and says these feelings reflect poor mental health, we\u2019re going to believe\nthem. The reality is much more nuanced. and nuance is not the forte of news\nreporting or social media. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of us cling to the idea that if we can just get back to\nnormal, we\u2019ll feel relieved and joyful. But an ongoing experience of trauma is\nnot that easy to shake. Knowing this can help alleviate excessive worry about\nour state of mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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One thing that can provide perspective is to view the\neffects of trauma as wounds. Think of them like a sprained ankle or a broken\nbone. If you sprain your ankle, you expect it to swell, bruise, hurt, and\nprevent you from walking normally for a significant period of time. In order\nfor it to heal, you understand and accept that you\u2019ll have to do things differently\nfor awhile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This doesn\u2019t usually mean you\u2019ll be crippled for life or\nnever be able to wear those cute heels again. It just means that it is normal\nand reasonable to change your daily routine to facilitate healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If viewing an emotional wound as a physical wound doesn\u2019t\nwork for you, try thinking of a friend who is grieving. Would you be alarmed if\nthey get choked up at unexpected times or don\u2019t have the emotional energy to\nhang out? No, you\u2019d understand that they feel sadness and loss and need time to\nwork through that before they\u2019re ready for fun and frivolity. And, most likely,\nyou\u2019d understand that their capacity for joy may be temporarily hidden beneath a\nflood of tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point of all of this is to remind you that certain \u201cnegative\u201d\nemotional states can be a normal and reasonable response to circumstances\nbeyond our control. They are not problematic or signs of poor mental health\nunless they become chronic, or we use poor techniques for dealing with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, depression is a normal response to change. Think of Elisabeth K\u00fcbler-Ross\u2019s five stages of grief<\/a>: denial, anger, bargaining, DEPRESSION, acceptance. Depression is an expected, normal phase that represents great progress through the process. But watch the news and you\u2019ll think any amount of depression is a reason for desperation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The quicker we become aware, acknowledge, and allow ourselves to feel so-called negative emotions, the quicker we can release them and return to a positive state of equilibrium. It is more difficult to do this if we view such states as catastrophic or as signs there is something wrong with us. All of us want to avoid feeling that we\u2019re defective. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019d often rather hide our distress than acknowledge it. And\nthere may good reason for that. Expressions of vulnerability can make the\nreceiver of the message also feel vulnerable. To avoid that feeling, they may\nturn away from us when we share our deepest feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve ever experienced this, you\u2019ll be less likely to attempt to share again. This cycle can result in a significant lack of support for those who are experiencing trauma and attempting to express its effects. And unfortunately, the research of Dr. Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/a> has indicated that most of us are not comfortable in a vulnerable space. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That means many of us will find that we must be our own best\nadvocates in the arena of mental health. So where do we start? In any moment\nthat I am struggling, I like to first examine what is going well for me before\ndeciding what needs adjustment. This helps give me perspective when determining\nwhat I need to do next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The easiest way to do this is to view myself as a close friend, then ask myself a series of questions: Am I sleeping well and on a regular schedule? Am I keeping my environment clean and uncluttered at the level I would when I feel I am functioning well? Am I eating regularly? Am I making reasonable food choices? Am I making time to move on a regular basis \u2013 walk, run, swim, lift weights, row, do yoga, bike, etc? Has my alcohol consumption increased? Do I rely on medication more than I did before? Am I doing too much? Am I able to feel or am I numb? Am I making forward progress at work? Am I able to be alone and feel content? Am I able to connect with at least one person? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If my answers to those questions wouldn\u2019t concern me if they were a friend\u2019s answers, I let go of the idea that I am suffering poor mental health and address anything that may need to change from the point of view of thriving. If I\u2019m not sure, I reach out to someone I trust to help me gain insight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mind you, I\u2019m not suggesting that anyone avoid professional\nhelp. In fact, I\u2019d encourage you to seek the advice of a professional in lieu\nof assuming you fit some profile you saw online. My purpose here is simply an attempt\nto provide a path to find balance to the rhetoric that has become increasingly pervasive\nand alarmist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t determine whether you are responding normally,\nadaptively, problematically, or in the best possible way given a particular set\nof circumstances. But I know it\u2019s always worth believing in yourself and asking\nquestions before accepting someone else\u2019s take.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel pain over something, that pain is real. If you\nfeel sad about something, that sadness is real. If you feel angry, it is a\nsignal that you feel a need to protect yourself. Accepting that these feelings\nmay be normal and not an indication of anything other than a response to the\ncircumstances in which you find yourself, can be a great start toward thriving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this cultural moment when we are all experiencing trauma\nand there is the cancel culture tendency to only accept a narrow range of\nbeliefs and behavior, it is important to step back, take a moment, and give\nourselves permission to feel how we feel even if it\u2019s out of step with the\nmajority. If you are an introvert and enjoy being able to work from home, it\u2019s\nokay to relish in it just as it\u2019s okay to feel sad about the loss of breakroom chats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trust yourself. Trust your process. Just because the world is falling apart doesn\u2019t mean you are. Give yourself some time and space to learn whether you\u2019re experiencing poor mental health or a normal response to a difficult circumstance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Do Our Fantasies Keep Us From Being Healthy?<\/a><\/blockquote>