{"id":4231,"date":"2020-12-22T07:37:15","date_gmt":"2020-12-22T13:37:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/?p=4231"},"modified":"2020-12-22T10:04:57","modified_gmt":"2020-12-22T16:04:57","slug":"4231-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/4231-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Many Diagnoses Come With Uncertainty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Just like this pandemic year, many diagnoses come with uncertainty<\/a>. Truthfully, they all do. Getting comfortable with not knowing can help lead to the healthiest path for dealing with the coming months or a disconcerting diagnosis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The contrasts of this year seem especially sharp as\nChristmas 2020 approaches. The middle road we often cruise has given way to\ndistinct divisions between comfort and danger. And it feels disconcerting\nbecause many of the holiday traditions in which we usually find comfort are not\ncurrently safe. The pandemic has brought uncertainty we cannot avoid. Too much\nhas changed too fast. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Under normal conditions, many of us shove uncertainty aside.\nWe believe we know what each day will hold. We focus on that and tune out\nthings we don\u2019t expect or don\u2019t want to deal with. We know that there will be\nminor mishaps \u2013 spills that stain a favorite blouse, flat tires, computer\nmalfunctions, etc. We limit our expectations to those and move forward. That\nworks great until an unavoidable life-altering event presents itself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Big events often mean big decisions. It\u2019s so much easier to\nmake a decision if the outcome is immediate and known. But that\u2019s not really\nhow it works in most life-altering situations. Every choice is a gamble. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how can we stay grounded and trust ourselves to make good enough choices?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important to note that good enough choices aren\u2019t\nalways perfect choices. We can move toward health by making informed, if\nimperfect, choices. When we feel confident in our choices, we lessen the fear\nand anxiety created by uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear triggers the urge to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn or\nhey, if things are really bad, all four! Just recognizing this can lessen the\nimpact of the feelings when they arise. And there are ways to help calm your\nlower brain so that you can move in and out of fear deliberately and\neffectively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few techniques to try:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grounding<\/strong> \u2013 plant your feet firmly on the floor and press<\/a> as if you\u2019re getting ready for the starting gun of a race. If you still need to calm down, look around the room (leave your feet planted) and count all of the red you see, then green, then black, etc. You can continue by looking for shapes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tapping<\/strong> \u2013 Memorize a simple sequence of tapping<\/a>. When you feel distress coming on, tap the sequence until you feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling your body<\/strong> \u2013 gently squeeze your arms noting how the skin feels and how the muscles feel beneath your arms. Continue with your legs or feet. Sometimes resting one hand on your chest just below your throat can feel calming. Feeling your body will help bring you into the present moment instead of getting lost in a panic of \u201cwhat if\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breathing<\/strong> \u2013 stand in mountain pose and breathe<\/a>. What I love about this pose is that you can do it anywhere without inviting the stares that downward dog would bring. If you\u2019re at home, try alternate nostril<\/a> breathing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you develop successful methods to calm yourself, you will\nbe ready to explore leaning into the feeling of fear. What works best for me is\nto allow myself to feel scared and to stay in that feeling as long as I can\nstand it. Having done this many times, I know that there will be a point at\nwhich things will shift and I will no longer feel afraid. If I can\u2019t stick with\nit that long, I let it go for the moment knowing I can move in and out of fear\nas needed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t try to figure anything out or make any decisions\nwhen I\u2019m leaning into fear. I just feel it and observe how my body responds. I\ntrust that things will seem more clear once I\u2019ve worked through some of the\nfear. When dealt with directly and immediately (or deliberately over a\nrelatively short period of time), fear doesn\u2019t have a chance to turn into\nlong-term anxiety. It simply dissipates and goes away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t expect yourself to work through the fear brought\nby a diagnosis while you\u2019re in the doctor\u2019s office. At that moment, or any time\nyou need to make immediate decisions under duress, I compartmentalize. I\nunderstand that many mental health professionals may not support that idea, but\nit works for me. The key is to create time and space soon after to feel my way\nthrough what has happened. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, I compartmentalize temporarily. That gives\nme the clarity to proceed to another step of feeling confident in my decisions:\ngathering information. I set my feelings aside to ask the doctor as many\nquestions as I can think of. I also ask the process for submitting questions\nthat may come up once I\u2019ve processed a bit longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once I leave the doctor\u2019s office, I research my options until\nI reach the point that I feel comfortable working with my doctor to devise a\ncare plan. This sometimes includes getting a second opinion. Having the\nknowledge of more than one expert makes me feel more confident moving forward. While\nthere is no way to know for sure whether we\u2019ll achieve the outcome I desire,\nmaking informed plans builds my confidence and comfort level make uncertainty feel\nmore tolerable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Uncertainty can still weigh heavy. That\u2019s when I like to get\noutside. Or on days like today, a trip outdoors offers an opportunity to bank\ngood feelings to pull from when I need them. It\u2019s such a gorgeous day! The work\nview I\u2019ve chosen is from the porch overlooking my back yard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Multiple birds chirp as they shuffle in and out of the\nwisteria on the arbor. Crows caw in the distance. Sugar snap peas extend their\nsmall white blossoms above the fence into a net trellis. The sun is full on my\nface and I\u2019m comfortable in a light sweater. At sunset, we\u2019ll be able to see\nJupiter and Saturn align into a bright Christmas star. How could anything be\nbad? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course I\u2019m aware of the perils of delivering gifts to my\nfriends. Any other year, we\u2019d be sharing food, wine, and laughter along with\nour gift bags. This year, we\u2019re navigating quarantine just to get them to each\nother\u2019s porches. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But while I sit under a brilliant blue sky, I don\u2019t have to\nthink about that. I can simply soak in the sun, the sounds, and the smell of\nBBQ when the breeze shifts just so. The smell of smoke from that nearby BBQ pit\nis a peril in itself. Live here long, and you\u2019ll crave barbecue for breakfast. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we move through stunted holiday celebrations into more months of pandemic uncertainty, some of us will receive unwanted diagnoses with the potential to increase anxiety. Having tools to reduce discomfort can mean better decision making and more peace of mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s my wish for all of us through the holidays\u2026peace of mind and spirit! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Beer Goggles vs Fear Goggles<\/a><\/blockquote>