{"id":4223,"date":"2020-12-14T14:53:36","date_gmt":"2020-12-14T20:53:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/?p=4223"},"modified":"2020-12-14T14:53:38","modified_gmt":"2020-12-14T20:53:38","slug":"there-is-no-permanent-record","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cooking2thrive.com\/blog\/there-is-no-permanent-record\/","title":{"rendered":"There is no Permanent Record"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Life is a process and there is no\npermanent record. This year has shined a bright light on the US culture. One of\nthe things I\u2019ve noticed is that we seem to view what happens right this minute\nas determinative of everything that follows. This is hobbling our thinking at a\ntime when pivoting needs to be swift and nimble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It is absolutely responsible and important\nto carefully consider decisions. But if we don\u2019t empty our mind of\nexpectations, assumptions, conventional wisdom, and trending topics first, we\nboth limit ourselves and create undue pressure at a time when we need less. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than recognizing that uncertainty\nis always with us, some have responded to this year of swift change by further\nentrenching themselves in ideas or behaviors that do not serve well. Many\ntimes, it comes down to the idea that if we do something unconventional, or\ndifferent than our family or friends, and it doesn\u2019t turn out well, it will go\non our permanent record.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no permanent record. If someone\nholds a long-time grudge, that\u2019s on them, not you. If someone continues to\njudge you for a mistake you have acknowledged in spite of it being a one-time\nerror, that\u2019s on them. If your parents disagree with your decision, but you\u2019re\nokay with the consequences, it\u2019s their problem, not yours. If everyone in your Facebook\ngroup disagrees with you, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re misguided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understand it doesn\u2019t always feel good\nto stand alone. I left high school a year early. My dad thought that was a\nmistake. I had the credits to graduate and went to straight to college with a\nscholarship in hand. In spite of this, and the fact that I received my high\nschool diploma the following year along with my class, he still believed it was\na mistake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ten years later, although I had no regrets\nabout the decision, he scored it as an error on his version of my permanent\nrecord. I could have accepted his view and let it create doubt or I could feel\nconfident that I had researched my options and was willing to continue to move toward\nmy goals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Were there failures along the way? Of course. But failing in an endeavor does not make me a failure because I know I don\u2019t have to become mired in that glitch. I can view it as a chance for improvement. To remain inspired, I keep these words<\/a> from a 1910 speech by Theodore Roosevelt in my head at all times:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If there were a permanent record, I would\nwant it to reflect me as a contender in the arena rather than someone who\nalways towed a line drawn by others. I\u2019d want it to show that my decisions were\nwell thought and carefully made. I\u2019d want to be seen as a problem solver who\nmoved past obstacles. And I would hope to be judged on more than appearance or\nnet worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a student whose grades are suffering<\/strong> during the pandemic, it is not a life ruining experience. Learn the life lessons in front of you. Those are more valuable than any letter grade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a parent struggling to be productive<\/strong> while also minding the kids, cut yourself some slack when you don\u2019t perform at your 2019 level. Not all productivity can be measured in immediate output. Ask any strategic planner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a child who cannot visit an elderly parent<\/strong> in long-term care, just do what you can to stay connected. The separation does not mean your relationship has ended. It just means it has had to shift. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are feeling frustrated, sad, and angry<\/strong> because you cannot safely attend a wedding, funeral, graduation, performance, or family reunion, those feelings are normal. You may need to designate some time for self-care to grieve the loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are having to ask for help<\/strong>, it doesn\u2019t mean you aren\u2019t capable. We all need assistance under certain circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a frontline or essential worker, thank you<\/strong>! Collectively, we have placed an undue burden on you. It will take a toll. That is not because you are weak. It is because you are a human tasked with superhuman expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s lots of catastrophizing going on\nright now. The news and social media are filled with hyperbole. It\u2019s easy to\nget caught up in the idea that our lives are falling apart. Some are suffering\ndevastating pain and loss. Others are suffering a change in routine. Many of us\nfall somewhere in between.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But before we decide that we can\u2019t bounce back from the setbacks of 2020 and 2021, let\u2019s remember that we can adapt when needed. We can see ourselves as the man in the arena and use challenges as motivation to be better. We can shift priorities and make better choices. And we can evaluate, reevaluate, and leave our mistakes in the past because there is no permanent record.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Need Some Tools To Help You Thrive?<\/a><\/blockquote>